Something Real | MakoHaru

what if

you look happy when i see you,
it's so beautiful it's sad

  Makoto always knew Haru only looks at him as his childhood bestfriend. Ever since by birth, they are destined to stand close to each other, holding out palms and intertwining fingers as they walked down the road that embarked their lives as a journey. He felt bliss despite Haru's cold as water at dawn, because he knew that he's the only one who felt the warmth from him.

   Time by time, Makoto realised that the warmth that he used to touch ended up being an bolt that shocked his heart. He used to look up at Haru as his older brother and his bestfriend, but now he looks down on him as someone whom he harbored feelings of romance with. Makoto didn't say anything, while Haru noticed nothing.

   The closer their bond became, the more Makoto fell for his emotionless face. His heart would beat faster than a treadmill everytime Haru held his hand, and it would explode like fireworks everytime he compliments him. Makoto always thought Haru is always have his eyes and attention towards him.

   But he realised that he was wrong by the time the one who ran away came back.

   He noticed how affectionate Haru's eyes would look everytime he sees the red-haired Rin. He knew that Haru wanted Rin to forgive him from the unintended things he has done, but he felt such wrath underneath he can't explain.

   It didn't take long to realise that he's jealous. He felt jealous on Rin, because all the attention that Haru has are suddenly thrown to Rin. He wanted to be angry and punch Rin until he can't breathe, but he can't. He never had the right to do so.

   But at the same time, he couldn't help this exploding anger from holding back in the shadows.

   'Why do you keep seeing Rin?' He asked that time when he saw him and Rin by chance. His blood boiled instantly and grabbed Haru's wrist then walked away in an agitated manner. The moment he realised that he did something wrong happened when Haru asked him: 'I wanted to see him because I want him to forgive me. You have no right to meddle.'

   'Yeah, right. I forgot I have no right.' He growled back. He knew he has nothing to do with them, but his heart cracks when he sees them in that position. But then again, he knew his selfishness has gone up and crossed the line. He kept on apologising all over again, making Haru worry why he's like that.

   Makoto always reassured him that nothing happened. But deep inside, he became troubled about his feelings interferred Haru's life. He just wanted to make him happy, but the fact that he's stopping him for no reason (but there is, he kept on denying) felt like something's wrong with him.

   Once again being the lamb for the ritual, he sacrificied and swallowed his pride and happiness by hiding in the darkness as the wingman of their love story.

   If his feelings were humans, they would've told Haru how much Makoto liked him; but Makoto would try his best to shut them the fuck up.

   He tried to prepare himself for the impact he's going to take when Haru will like someone else. But before he could do it, Haru already broke his heart; not by the words that came out from his lips, but from the tender, loving gaze to Rin. He felt his heart smash to pieces as he saw it firsthand. Unable to control his emotions like a child, he ran and hid, crying all by himself.

   'Makoto-chan, why are you crying?' He looked up to find the worried Nagisa standing in front of him. He wanted to say that he wasn't, but seeing it's too obvious, he replied. 'It's nothing.'