Chapter 31- Alice

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Chapter 31- Alice

"Padraigan is dead," Sin said as I stared at her limp body on the floor.

You are a monster. You killed your closest friend. I let out a strangled cry and stepped away from the bars. "No..." I muttered, aghast. Sin looked at me, his eyes filled with tears. I turned away and grabbed a key to the bars.

Unlocking it, I quickly ran in. Gently, I squeezed her hand which would not ever move again. "This is my fault," I whispered to myself. I closed my eyes and leaned against the wall, covering my face with my arms.

She was a great friend, who trusted me, until I let her down. She helped me and supported me on Oriehn while I killed her. She was the first person who really showed me friendship while I ignored all of it; even threw it back into her face.

I killed her.

"Alice?" Sin asked. I sighed and wrung my fingers together. "Alice, stop banging your head against the wall," I blinked, not even realizing what I had been doing.

I glanced at Drai's body again and felt tears drip down my cheek. Unable to bear it, I left the cell block, ignoring Sin's calls again. Quickly unlocking the door to the infirmary room, I ran inside and fell onto the bed, my actions finally hitting me.

I was a murderer. I killed all of these innocent people who didn't do anything. They just wanted to live peacefully and I destroyed that.

Sin was right. No one could or would ever truly love a monster like me. I was just setting myself up for heartbreak every time. It was pointless, and I would just be broken every time. I sighed shakily, resigned to my fate.

Maybe it would be better if I was just gone... My thoughts trailed off.

I caused death to rampage among the innocent, heartbreak to spread like a contagion among the Oriehns, and chaos.

Absolute chaos.

It couldn't even be called a war, it was a massacre. And I did all of that. I had killed millions of people single-handedly. It was not even a fair fight, it was built off of lies and deception.

I closed my eyes and laid down onto my bed. If only I had a time machine now.

All I wanted to do was go back and fix everything. Go to the Oriehns because I really believed I was of their descent, and wore it proudly, instead of hiding behind ulterior motives. I wished I could take back all of my actions and lies...

But I could not. There were no second chances.

My choice did not even make sense to me now. I could have saved all of the Oriehns and told them the truth. Even had I believed I was human, there would not be so many deaths, if any.

Crying, I tried to sleep but none came. My actions would always haunt me, and whenever I closed my eyes, I would recall the conversation Sin and I had at the end, as well as the images that were burned into my mind forever.

Sleep always evaded me, and the only way I could rest was cry myself to sleep or take the sleep pills. I did not like medicine, so I usually chose the first option, though tiring. Closing my eyes, I let the tears come and slowly tried to fall asleep.

"Alice?" I heard a raspy voice. I groaned, not ready to go through this dream again. "Alice? Wake up. Please," I knew that in the real world, he would not talk to me, so I did not bother opening my eyes. A mere figment of my imagination, this was. "Alice!" The voice grew more frustrated, and a hand shook my body.

I opened my eyes and glared at the blurry figure in front of me. "Honestly, could you stop? Why must you always interrupt my peace? Why are you always in my dreams? For once, I want to sleep without the death of millions weighing on my mind!" I ranted and turned on my side, trying not to wince from the pain my still healing bullet wound. There was a low sigh, and the shaking resumed.

"I'm not part of your dream, Alice. Open your eyes. I need to tell you something," He sounded sad, and my heart acted against my brain as I opened my eyes. He was sitting on the floor, staring up at me.

"What?" I murmured, and winced as my voice cracked. Reaching for the glass on the side table, I gulped down a few much needed gulps of water, and then turned to Sin who was fidgeting and staring everywhere but me.

I rolled my eyes. "You said that there was something important you wished to tell me, Taliesin," His eyes grew sad at the mention of his full name, but he did not comment.

"Drai said something right before she died, and I know she thought you should know..." He whispered. My heart dropped at his tone, and I knew it was something bad.

"You do not need to tell me. You should not even be here!" I frowned, not sure how he got in. Looking up at the ceiling, I noticed an open vent and could not help but to smile wryly.

Sin looked at me, his expression sad. "You do not want me here, do you?" He asked. "How much more selfish can you be? My people-our people, who you deserted— are wasting away, choking on their own breath, while you hide away in a cell far more potent than our ever could be— your own mind!"

He paced around, exasperated. "Get out of your own head, Alice, and start paying attention to reality. It has consequences that you need to face, standing on your own two feet like any true Oriehn would."

I honestly did not know what to make of him. I did want to talk to Sin, but not about the topic he brought up, and not with the hostility and awkwardness that we were using. I stuttered a bit, and he turned to face me.

"It's fine, I'll leave." He muttered, his anger fading slightly.

"No, stay," The words left my mouth before I realized what I had said, and I blushed. Stupid, stupid, stupid! My brain chided as Sin sat back down on the floor. Do you want your heart to be broken again? Do you really think it could withstand that another one, especially since this time it was nearly shattered beyond repair?

"Okay, then," Sin began slowly running a hand through his matted hair to occupy his mind. "Drai... She said that you were wrong."

Intrigued, I sat up, cautiously facing him. "What exactly did she say?" I questioned.

"If I remember correctly, it went something like this," Taliesin stared at the ground, but I saw a tear in his eyes. "'Tell Alice that she was wrong about being human. She is not a monster. She is Oriehn.' They were some of her last words." The tear in his eye fell down into his lap.

I moved to comfort him, but the door swung open before I could do anything.

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