october 23, saturday 5 pm
after david and i had a moment this morning, i didn't want to do anything else. i was too sad. 5 pm rolled around, and the party started at 8. i don't even have a costume, so it's not like i could even go anyway.
gabbie strutted in the dorm room wearing an angel costume. white dress, white halo. she looked pure. innocent. unlike me..
"so what do you- liza! what are you doing laying around?!" gabbie asked.
i pulled my blanket over my face, trying to hide the fact that i wasn't going tonight.
"sleeping." i breathed.
"uh no, you're going tonight."
i haven't told her about what david told me this morning. i didn't want to say the words out loud.
"i can't." i said.
gabbie pulled the blanket off of me as i whimpered, "no, no." my old mascara was still on my face from all the crying i've done today. gabbie looked at me.
"liza what's wrong?"
"it's nothing that concerns you." i sighed, looking up at the ceiling.
"yeah it does," gabbie sat at the end of my bed, "if you're feeling upset it's always gonna concern me."
i sat up, facing gabbie.
"you know i was really happy." i said before i started feel the tears roll down my cheeks again.
my shoulders started to move up and down as i put my hands over my face. i could feel gabbie pull me in and hug me tightly.
*****
"i don't understand though." gabbie said as she was playing with my hair.
i just told her everything that happened from last night to this morning. it was hard.
"i don't either. his dad is in jail. so that means david doesn't have money because his mom passed away," i breathed, "so no money means no college. that makes sense but i don't get why he has to go back to chicago."
"maybe he needs to take care of family business now that his dad is finally in jail." gabbie suggested.
"i don't know. he can just drop out, get a job here, and find a place to live... i don't think he can get a job though."
"how come?" gabbie asked.
"no idea. david doesn't tell me everything."
gabbie finished playing with my hair and stood up.
"here's what you're gonna do. you're gonna go to this party tonight. i have an extra angel costume. you're gonna get ready and look extra cute, and you and me are gonna go together and have fun." gabbie pointed at me.
"i don't know gabs."
"yes you do know, you're going. you deserve to let loose without david."
*****
gabbie and i both strutted in the party both wearing white angel costumes. after getting ready with gabbie, i started to feel a little better and think less about david. we're gonna have a fun time tonight. girls only.
"what do you want to drink my sweet angel?" gabbie gracefully asked as a joke.
"something preferably with alcohol in it!" i said back.
why not? live yo life.
gabbie giggled and then walked towards the bar area. the party was packed. there was halloween decorations strung about, the monster mash was playing through the speakers, and there was a big 'cauldron' of a punch that had fog coming out of it.
it actually made me really happy. i love halloween.
i stood there waiting for gabbie, scanning the room to see if i could find carly or erin. i eventually spotted carly talking to alex so i decided to walk over. alex was dressed up as a police officer and carly was dressed up as a typical black cat.
"hey guys!" i smiled.
"hey girl! you made it!" carly pulled me in for a quick hug without spilling her red solo cup.
"hey alex." i softly smiled.
it was still sorta awkward from when we made out that one night. one night i hope to forget.
"hey." alex nodded.
"where's the rest of the gang?" i asked.
"erin's in the bathroom, and zane and heath are doing that.." carly pointed towards the other side of the big party room.
zane and heath were dancing hardcore, making a dance circle. i giggle at the show they were presenting.
erin then walked up behind me, scaring me.
"boo!" she yelled.
"ah! erin!!" i whimpered.
erin giggled and then hugged me. she then stood next to carly in her fairy costume.
"dude the bathroom line was so long. someone was holding it up.." she said.
"really? who?" carly asked.
"david! god knows what he was doing in there." erin answered back.
yeah. what was he doing in there?
"yeah why didn't your boyfriend tag along with ya? no couple costume?" carly asked.
"uh we didn't have a good enough idea.." i lied.
david and i haven't talked since this morning, since i was too sad to talk to him about what we're gonna do as a couple now that he has to leave soon. god knows when he's going to.
"i'm gonna go find him.." i said.
gabbie stopped me before i could find david with my drink.
"here girly, drink up!" gabbie laughed.
i took the drink from her and took a sip, realizing it was some kind of soda and vodka drink. gross. but i'll still drink it. i started to wonder around with my drink, trying to find david. i then realized where he could possibly be.
i walked up to the closed door of the room we would always have our special nights in. i stood there and finished my drink, preparing myself for any emotional hell im about to go through again.
i knocked on it faintly and opened the door.
i was right. it was david. passed out on the bed, with a bottle of vodka laying next to him. great.
i sighed at the sight and walked up to the side of the bed, glancing at his perfect face. his costume was a robber, so he could wear his all black clothing but with a black beanie on his head. i sat next to him and gently rubbed my finger against his cheek.
i then admitted to myself what i've been wanting to tell him forever ago.
"i love you david dobrik," i whispered, "despite the things you put yourself through. i will always.. love you."
this was more of a filler chapter so sorry if it's kinda boring :-( anyway, i hope you still enjoyed this chapter and i'll see you guys sometime this week! have a great day 💖
