Diary Of A Nonbinary

18

Hey everyone

So, I'd like to get some advice on something.

I've been really frustrated and like upset because I can't express myself and who I am because I'm afraid. I'm afraid of how my parents would react if I were to come out and losing friends especially. A lot of my friends are lgbt+ accepting and are a part of it themselves, but some of them aren't and I really don't want to lose them.

I have no idea how my parents would react if I came out to them. They probably wouldn't use the right name and pronouns and I just don't think I could deal with it. They might tell me it's just a phase, they won't understand and I'm afraid they'll treat me differently in a bad way.

I'm really scared of how my brother would react. Like I've said before, he's really homo/trans phobic. I've already had to go through so much bullying from my brother in the past, which is normal, but I just can't handle it because I really love my brother and even now when I'm not out, I feel like he hates me.

So many members of my family are super religious and I feel like they would cast me out.

What do I do? Do I stay in the closet and try to deal with not being able to be myself? Do I come out and deal with the consequences of maybe losing some friends and having to deal with shit from some of my family?

I don't know my life is a mess 😂

~Kris