Something Worth Living For {Ryden AU}

3a

"And today's lunchtime topic is music," Spencer announces.

"Finally, something I don't mind talking about," I say, relieved. It's now three weeks into the school year, and I'm not any closer to figuring Ryan out. We've sort of become friends, and that's kind of surprising to everyone.

"What about music?" Pete asks, chewing obnoxiously on a piece of gum.

"Anything," Spencer shrugs.

"I heard MCR is working on a new album," I throw in.

"Ooh, really?" Jayda perks up. They're her favorite band.

"Yeah, they did an interview about it or something."

"What's MCR?" Ryan suddenly asks. We just stare at him.

"You know," Spencer laughs a little, "My Chemical Romance?" Ryan still has that blank stare. I know they aren't the biggest band in the world or anything, but mostly everyone knows who they are.

"You've been deprived," Jayda says in horror, patting Ryan's shoulder consolingly.

"What about Blink?" Pete asks, suddenly interested. "You've gotta know Blink." Ryan smiles sheepishly, shaking his head.

We spend the next ten minutes questioning Ryan about various bands, and he doesn't know any of them. I'm kind of baffled.

"Do you even listen to music?" I finally ask. He just shrugs. I can't do anything but stare at him open-mouthed.

"How do maintain your sanity?" Spencer asks.

"Seriously," I comment. Ryan shrinks into his seat a little.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles, picking at his fingers and staring down at his lap.

"Hey, it's okay," I say with a little comforting laugh, kind of confused as to why he thinks he should be sorry.

"Yeah, we'll teach you all you need to know about music," Spencer smiles.

The bell rings, and we all head to our classes. I always walk with Ryan, because his class is close to mine. He's finally starting to get used to the whole 'school' thing, so he doesn't quite have that deer-in-headlights look about him anymore. When I stop by his classroom, I hesitate before walking away.

"Ryan," I stop him before he goes in. He turns around, raising his eyebrows. "Hang out with me tonight," I ask, even though I know what he's going to say. One, two, three, and...

"I can't." Of course.

"Why can't you, Ryan? Why?" I stress. "Please, just tell me. Do you just not want to?" He immediately shakes his head.

"Look, I have to go. You need to get to class," he reminds me before turning back around and heading into the classroom. I exhale slowly, rubbing my temples and continuing down the hallway.

-

The whole note-passing in seventh period thing has become something of a habit for Ryan and I. Not only does it pass the time, but I've also learned a lot about him through these notes. He's not shy or reserved when it comes to writing. He just says exactly what he feels. I've learned that he hates chocolate, his favorite color is grey, he's never had a pet, anything lemon-flavored makes him sick, and he likes to read.

A piece of paper slides underneath my hand.

I've never been on a boat.

I smile because every time I learn a new fact about him, I just feel that much closer to figuring him out. I glance at him, and he's watching me, one corner of his mouth upturned. I take another moment to admire his pretty handwriting before replying.

Neither have I, but I don't think I want to after seeing Titanic.

He frowns at the note when he reads it, and my eyebrows crease while I try to think of what could have made him make that face.

What is Titanic?

I stare at the paper much like I had stared at Ryan during lunch. This isn't just petty things that he doesn't know anymore. How does he not know about the Titanic? I turn my puzzled gaze back to him, and he's looking at me expectantly. I have a theory, but it's going to have to wait to be tested until later.

Come home with me today. Please? And don't tell me you can't if you aren't going to give me a reason.

When he reads the note, I hear him sigh. He looks at me, his expression a mix of hesitance and longing; the same expression that's on his face every time I ask him to hang out with me. He puts the note down and with a glance at the teacher, gets his phone out of his pocket. I see him typing out a message before closing it and slipping it back into the pocket of his hoodie. He continues taking notes, not replying to my question. I wave my hand in front of him, shrugging in a way that says, 'well?' and he just holds a finger up, looking anxious. I don't quite know what I'm waiting for, but I wait.

I see him grabbing his phone again from the corner of my eye, and he's scrolling through, reading something. He looks happy, maybe surprised. He quickly scribbles something on our note and passes it back.

Okay.

I feel myself smile, turning to look at him. 'Really?' I mouth. He nods, smiling back. I don't know what finally made him change his mind, but we're finally hanging out at least.

When the bell signifying the end of the days rings, I grab my bag and turn to Ryan. "What made you change your mind?"

"I texted my mom," he shrugs. "I didn't think she'd say yes, but she did." He looks like he isn't giving me the whole story, but I'm pleased nonetheless. When we're walking outside the building, Jayda and Spencer come bounding up.

"Hey!" she grins.

"Why are you in such a good mood?" I give her a funny look. We start our walk down the street, Spencer with us because he always comes home with us on Fridays.

"William just asked for her number," Spencer rolls his eyes.

"Yeah," she agrees, looking a bit dazed. "He's so great."

"Brendon sure did think so," Spencer snickers. Jayda snaps out of whatever daydream she was having to change her face into one of disgust.

"Can we please not ever talk about that ever again?"

"I second that," I add.

"Hey, why are you here?" Spencer suddenly asks Ryan.

"He's hanging out with us tonight," I answer for him.

"Well, finally," Jayda smiles, ruffling his hair. "Be prepared to have your ass kicked in Call of Duty." Spencer groans, dreading the evening ahead, and I start to smile before I see the confused look on Ryan's face. I hardly even have to think about why it's there.

"Let me guess," I start, "You don't know what Call of Duty is." I can tell I'm right by the look on his face. He has that sheepish look about him again.

"Not really," he mumbles.

"Dude, have you been locked in a box your whole life?" Spencer asks disbelievingly. Ryan's whole face shuts off, and he looks away. I shoot Spencer a dirty look. He knows that Ryan is sensitive.

"Hey," I say in the soft tone that I only use with him. "Don't listen to him." He turns back to me with that closed off look still on his face, and shrugs. He doesn't say anything the rest of the walk home.

Word Count: 1223