Something Worth Living For {Ryden AU}

3b

One hour of explaining Call of Duty to Ryan and two hours of us all getting our asses beat by Ryan later, I give up.

"How?" Spencer asks, shaking his head. "How? He just learned to play it for fuck's sake." Ryan is sitting there with a small smile on his face. He doesn't boast or brag when he wins, he just sits there with that smile.

"No, I'm so done," I throw my controller down, glaring playfully at Ryan.

"I think I'm tired," Ryan muses, setting the controller down carefully and stretching his long arms.

"Wanna go watch a movie?" I suggest. He nods, getting up. I get up and stretch out my own sore limbs, all cramped from being folded together for so long.

"I'm going to stay in here and deflate Spence's ego some more," Jayda grins, sprawling out lazily across her bed. I lead Ryan into my bedroom, grabbing all my blankets and pillows from where they're piled haphazardly onto the floor and throwing them on my couch that's in front of my TV.

"You have a couch in your room?" Ryan asks, sounding impressed.

"Yeah. You can pick from those movies," I point to a stack near my TV. "Actually, since you've never watched Titanic, why don't we watch that?" Ryan nods, so I pick it out and put it in the DVD player. I turn the light off and take my place on the couch, pulling my legs up and hugging them to my chest. Ryan sits on the other end and folds himself up on the cushion, bundling up in a blanket.

I stare at him, thinking about my earlier theory, and decide that there's no time like the present. "Ryan, what happened at Pearl Harbor?" I ask. He stares at me surprised, his brows pulling together.

"Um. I- what?"

"Pearl Harbor," I repeat. He just shakes his head slowly, lifting one shoulder. I nod. "What about the World Trade Center? What happened to it?"

"World Trade...?" he trails off. "I- I don't," he shakes his head again.

"Why don't you know these things?" I ask bluntly. It's not like he's stupid. I've seen for myself how intelligent he is. He makes A's on every test. But it's like he doesn't know anything about current- or past, for that matter- events. It's like he doesn't know anything about the world he lives in.

"I don't know," he says in a small voice.

"These are things that everyone knows. Everyone learns about them. Why haven't you?"

"I'm sorry," he says, shrinking back against the couch. His face looks worried, and he's biting his bottom lip.

"Why do you do that?" I ask, turning toward him. "You have nothing to apologize for. Ryan, it's okay," I say when his rigidness doesn't let up. I reach a hand for him and his whole body jerks, causing me to quickly retract it. "Did something... did something happen to you?" Ryan starts breathing harder, shaking his head furiously.

"Hey, it's okay, calm down," I soothe, scooting closer to him, but he flinches again. "You know I'm not going to hurt you, right?" He nods, but there's obviously something wrong with him, because he's starting to shake.

"Ryan, what happened to you?" I ask firmer this time.

"I- I can't," he struggles, shaking his head.

"You can't tell me?" I clarify, and he nods. "No, you need to tell me," I push, starting to worry a little.

"I can't," he says, nearly pleading. He's starting to breathe really hard now, and I'm getting a little scared. "Not again," he whispers.