Double Life

Regrets

"It's an opportunity that's for sure."

I muse, sipping my coffee while Lay does the same to his. We've taken to sitting on the floor, leaning against the back wall while talking.

"If I leave I don't know when I'll come back, I don't know..."

"You don't know if you'll want to after experiencing going solo. You think you won't want to come back."

His silence is the only answer I need to confirm my suspicions.

"I can't, I can't even think of telling the others. I can't see their faces when I say I'm going to do it...not that I'm going to take the offer! I'm just..."

"Oh my god LAY!"

I shout, rushing to stand.

"You have a chance to go live your life! You get to be free! You get to have a chance to sing your own songs and have the stage all to yourself!"

"But-"

"You even get to come back when it's all said and done. I never got to go back. I, I gave up what I held dearest and, I settled with what I had. There's no going back once you do that."

I wince, the memories of my past floating up to the surface of my mind. Lay goes to speak and I shake my head, smiling at him.

"Lay go live your life. Don't let anyone hold you back. Not me, not Suho, not the press."

"You sure?"

I nod. Maybe I'm living vicariously through Lay, maybe I'm giving bad advice. But...

"A life with no regrets is the best life of all."

I state, the very saying tattooed on my leg. Lay still seems conflicted, something in his eyes is, well, kind of attractive. Despite myself I feel a little prick of desire in my chest.

"No regrets, hmm?"

He says, his voice low and smooth. The room seems smaller, especially when he steps closer to me, I refuse to step backwards.

"No regrets."

I reply, my own voice dangerously low as the space between us shrinks. Unlike how Baekhyun pulled me down to meet his lips, Lays height is closer to mine, and he presses a hand to my back, pulling me closer.

"No, no, Lay..."

I mutter, his lips dangerously close to my own. Our breaths mingling as we teeter between our own little decision, to cross an imaginary line or not. I shake my head, gently pushing him back.

"Can't have you falling for another guy now can we?"

He blushes, his hand on my back disappearing.

"Sorry I shouldn't have-"

"No, neither of us should have, and we didn't. No regrets."

In a split second decision, I've always been called a little reckless, I run over to the door, emptying my helmet's contents onto the counter and throwing it at Lay.

"Go have fun for a few hours and don't think about anything heavy, just breathe."

I place the keys into his hand and in a burst of reckless abandon to my previous statement I lean just the slightest bit down and plant my mouth on his, only for a second, before shoving him out the door. The look of shock on his face was nearly priceless. I smile, his mint and lime smell now on my lips. Now that Lay's out of my space, I return to my previous dilemma of making up a dance practice. Sure I just kissed two guys in the last 24 hours but, well, hmm. Okay. I think I have this.