Queen for a day (adopted by Kellic)

chapter 11

Trigger warning: suicide attempt

Kays POV

Silence. That's what surrounds me. Silence. No laughter. No smiles. No sadness. No tears. Nothing but silence. I haven't left this room for two weeks. Two weeks since She died. Ash. My love. Each day I just sit here, staring at my walls. I'm alone in here. Kellin and Vic tried to talk to me but I blocked them out. Andy is coming over today but I don't need him. I don't need anyone. No. That's a lie. I need Ashley.

Posters gaze at me with glazed expressions. None of them no my pain. Pete doesn't, Andy doesn't, Kellin doesn't, Jaime doesn't, Rian doesn't. No one does. No one. I'm shutting everyone out because it hurts. I don't want to hurt other people. I haven't taken my meds in two weeks so I'm going slightly crazy as well. There's a dent in the wall where I thought Dan was, taunting me, teasing me, lying to me.

I look through my playlists and pick a random one, putting it on shuffle. I'm not listening to the first few songs. It's just background noise. Instead I think back to that day. When I saw her get hit. Saw her die. I haven't cried since her funeral. She died two weeks ago and the funeral was a couple of days afterwards. Then I got home, came up here and didn't leave. If it wasn't for the arguments I had with them then Kell and Vic would probably think I'm dead. I may as wel be. What's the point in living? Why am I even here? Does anyone want me to be? Honestly?

No.

No they don't.

Of course they don't.

Why would they?

"The sun will rise
A thousand times
It burns my eyes
It makes me cry..."

And that's when I know how to make it go away. To drown out the voices in my head. I don't belong here. It's living through my fingertips. I can make them stop. I can end it. All it takes is one blade. One blade and one clean precise cut. Then it's over. Forever.

Andy's POV

Kay agreed to let me go over.  Today I will see her and I will be there for her. She needs someone there for me and I want to be that person. The person she can trust above all other people.

"Where you off?" Jake asks. "I'm going to see Leigh. Gabe says she hasn't left her room since the funeral and Vic and Kellin are worried." Jaime, Tony, Gabe, Justin and Jack have been over almost every day. And Mike, especially Mike. He's actually temporarily moved in with them for now because Vic needs him.

"Do you need a lift?" Jake asks. "I'm dropping Jinxx and Purdy off at the mall so I'm going out anyway." I smile gratefully "yeah please. Thanks man." He returns my smile. I'm so glad these guys are my friends. Me and Ashley were quite close before her and Kay started dating so when I heard it was really painful and sad. I miss her but I know Kay does too.

"Hey what's CC doing today?" I ask Jake, out of curiosity. "He is going on a date with Lauren bitches." CC answers, wandering into the hallway. He puts his shoes on and grabs his keys. "Later losers" me and Jake simultaneously roll our eyes as the door slams shut.

The noise causes Jinxx and Ashley to skid into the hallway and hurridly get ready. "Ok we're good." Jinxx gives us the thumbs up and we all pile into Jakes car. "Shotgun!" Me and Ashley shout. "Hey if you go shotgun I get to choose the music. Deal?" I offer. He thinks about it before grinning. "Deal." He such a dork. A Hello Kitty dork. A Hello dork? A Kitty dork? A dork Kitty? Nah he's just Pervy. Purdy Perv. Pervy Purdy.

I plugg my phone in straight away and it starts blasting Blood On The Dance Floors Sext Me. Everyone turns to look at me. I shrug. "What? Kay put it on there. She says Jay is her gay child."

"Gees what is it with this girl and gay things?" Jake wonders. "She's bi and she really wants a tattoo of a gay unicorn she's gonna call Steve." (A/N true story I legit want this tattoo) I explain. Jake just nods and keeps driving. The next song is Kays favourite. Kick me. I start singing along and so many memories come back. Memories of us sitting in her room or mine and just screaming this song at whover walks past the window. She's my gay unicorn princess. She's my popcorn. My best friend.

Soon we are at the mall and Jinxx tumbles out the car and straight into a puddle. Ashley is more graceful, hopping over the puddle (and Jinxx) and into the mall. Jinxc scrambles after him, dripping wet but still smiling. Me and Jake are clutching our stomachs in laughter and legit tears are rolling down my face. Shit! I should totally have filmed that.

When Jake and I can actually breathe, we carry on driving. "Hey can I come in as well? I have nothing else to do and Jinxx and Ashes are getting the train back." Jake asks. "Sure" I shrug. I'm actually so glad he asks. I don't know if I could be there with her alone.

We pull up outside their house and before I enter I have to menatlly prepare myself. It's ok Andy, you can do this. Just be there for her! Don't upset her, don't annoy her and don't scare her. Just be there. With that I mind I exit the vehicle and stride with my gazelle legs up the drive and knock on the door. Mike lets Jake and I in. He tells me that Kay is upstairs (still) so I go up the stairs and knock on her door. I can hear her music but nothing else. I knock again. Still no answer.

Carefully I open the door. The scene in front of me is one I will never forget no matter how hard I try. "CALL 911!" I scream in panic. Kay lies there on her bed, dripping in blood. Her wrists are slit and bloody handprints decorate the wall behind her. A note lays beside her body.

I'm sorry

Goodbye

A/N so there ya go. Another chapter! This is dedicated to GeesusButMoreGay. Ily parent and I hope you liked the drama. Please vote and comment! I love reading them xox