light headed | boyxboy

uno|1|un

Dedicated to G, in loving memory. 

My biggest support, my close school friend and my hilarious, brilliant proofreader of all my stories. She loved Jax and Miller as much, if not more, than I did. 

You were a big part of this story, I wish yours wasn't over.

2004-2024.

__

i've decided london rains TOO much. i've been here five hours. 

now, don't get me wrong, i like rain. the soft hum of it blankets me in a persuasive lull and all that - but london rain is not the romantic pitter-patter on the slick stones of the street that i initially imagined. london's rain bares down on slanted rooftops as if to wash my family away. the sky is dominated by frowning grey clouds and occasional thunder. i wipe my hands on my jeans and chew at my lower lip, now raw from the three hour flight.

the delicate silver of puddles and the ambient temperature of precipitation are a reminder that i do not belong here, along with my goosebumps. i long for the sun's gentle kiss, mijas' blue sky and golden sunsets. i miss the buzz of spanish, too fast to pick up a word in the blur of conversation.

my trunk, wet as my dark hair, thumps against my right leg as I walk. my coat and scarf gave up trying to keep me dry a time ago and mamá's taffy pink umbrella only shelters a quarter of myself and my little sister as we trudge to our new house from the bus stop.

i close my eyes, imagining what it might be like. smaller than our old chateau in saint-malo. bigger than the place my real memories lie: our villa in mijas. and after fifteen years, here we are. fucking london.

oh boy. lucky jax.

+

2022 Edit: WHY TF DID I WRITE IT IN FIRST PERSON THAT SHOULD BE A CRIME

AND trust me I WROTE THIS BEFORE HEARTSTOPPER AND SOMEHOW THE CHARACTERS ARE LITERALLY NICK AND CHARLIE DOWN TO CURLY HAIRED GAY SPANISH GUY, THE ED AND THE BLOND JOCK WHO SPEAKS FRENCH LIKE HUH. alice oseman i feel like if i rlly wanted to i could get into your head real good. 

ciao amores. read at your own risk of cringe xxx