light headed | boyxboy

diecinueve|19|dix-neuf

the rest of the day goes without much said.

we play football and i stand around wishing the sun would come out. theo tries to kick the ball to me and i end up tripping over myself trying to catch. for a dancer, sometimes i'm not very elegant.

miller attempts to catch my eye again but mainly focuses on the football. he apologises for "perv" during lunch, offering to pay for my chocolate milk. i remind him that we don't pay for our cafeteria food.

"okay, but the gesture comes from the bottom of my heart", he insists. i shove him playfully, but my hand basically bounces off his chest.

"whatever, gringo", i chide.

"anything that's not perv", miller shrugs. he furrows his eyebrows. "aren't you going to eat that?"

i drop my gaze to the tray of salad. i really don't like salad at all. it's so... bland and empty in nutrients. still, i'm not really that hungry. last time i had a meal was breakfast this morning, which made me feel sick. but as miller's large puppy dog eyes watch me, i can't help but try to give him a smile.

"yeah. sorry, uh.... you were saying?"

i fork some lettuce into my mouth and as i chew the need to spit it overcomes me. it's gross. but i feel as though something bad might happen to me, a tug in my gut tells me that i need to spit the food i put in my mouth.

"but, jax, i was just thinking-"

'spit it' a tiny voice tells me.

can i not bring myself to swallow?

'spit it' the voice pushes me again.

i want to. but not here. not now.

"jax? jax", miller touches my cheek gently. i blink, swallowing instinctively. 

"s-sorry. what's wrong?", i mumble as i put my fork down and lace my fingers together.

"i asked for your snapchat", miller gives me a losided grin.

"oh", i blink. oh god. "umm..."

"oh", miller looks down, apparetnly crestfallen. "sorry, i just thought now that we're friends-"

"papicaliente", i blurt, cringing. he stares at me for a millisecond before grinning.

"papi... caliente", he savours the words. "that's one heck of a user"

"you know it", i mutter, turning away. thank god for my tan skin: miller would enjoy teasing me for blushing.

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aaaaaah 2K !!
all i want for christmas is..;;;
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