Dreams in the Distant Sky

Chapter 19 - Thoughts

Lord Silas pov:

Heaving a deep sigh, I brought a hand up to press my fingers over my aching forehead. The document I had in front of me was an important petition that I had to check and send out today to Lord Melvin – it was an approval to increase trade between Eastcrest Town and Norshore Town. Salt and sea food from Norshore Town would be exchanged with tea and fabric. But no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't concentrate today.

I put the quill away and leaned back on my chair with my eyes closed. I ran a hand through my hair in frustration and trying to ease the throbbing of my head. I opened my eyes to look up at the ceiling, not really surprised at the restless or lack of concentration I was feeling. It had been happening a lot lately, especially when....she was here.

Just as I thought of her, I heard a knock on the doors of my study. I could smell and sense Kaya standing on the other side of the door with tea and snacks. I felt even more disoriented for a moment but inhaled deeply and sat up straight refusing to lose my composure. Although, I had lost count of how many times I had to hold in so much unrest these days because of Kaya.

"Come in." I said a bit too sharply than I intended to and the doors were opened seconds later to reveal her.

I clenched my jaw tightly, unable to take my eyes off of her as she stepped in elegantly and shut the door behind her. When she did look up, I averted my eyes to the sheets on my table and pretended to be reading them, indifferent to her arrival. But as she walked to the service desk and poured out the tea into the cup, I couldn't help but watch her again – looking over her face, the gentleness in her eyes and her delicate and fluid movements as she poured the tea into the tea cup.

In the past two weeks, many things have changed in the castle and in me. After Leon tried to kill me and Kaya saved me, I had called for a meeting to set some things right once and for all. Leon and Lord Claude along with a few other humans and Supremes who had taken part in the assassination attempt with them had been taken into custody. I was planning on slaughtering them myself because I was extremely angry for how they had treated me but in the end, I decided against it. As the Absolute Lord, I couldn't be so careless and get blood on my hands.

I gave them a death sentence because their crimes were far too serious to overlook and I had made sure that it was a public event with all those of the Royal Families, Mother and Father and other important lords in close vicinity attending. As for Edna, I gave her a life imprisonment along with forcing her to drink an elixir that stripped her of all her powers as a Supreme.

I also took care of several others I found to be suspicious and untrustworthy. I dismissed many of the people from my administration and took over their jobs myself – so the work load has increased, my working hours have increased and I barely sleep for three hours in the night nowadays. I was tired, mentally and physically because for some reason, there was just so much going on, so much that I was distracted by and I couldn't find even the slightest bit of time to slip away from it for a break like I used to before.

I was of the Sterling Family – the Alpha Predators. I am the Absolute Lord, the top in command, the one standing above all other Supremes. I couldn't show hesitance, I couldn't show weakness and I never had. I wasn't supposed to show mercy to anyone either. But since the past few days, I've been doing nothing more than drowning in doubt and uncertainty. I've been feeling like everything I have is slipping away from me even though they're all still so clearly visible and within my reach. Something just doesn't feel right anymore.

I never needed anyone by my side before. I've never been shown sympathy or honest loyalty or anything close to affection even by my own family. Mother and Father covered up for Leon when he tried to kill me when I was a mere child making it obvious that they cared for him more than they did for me even though I was chosen to be the Absolute Lord for my sense of responsibility and knowledge. Aldora cared for me, I suppose, and Philon had always been loyal, doing everything I ordered him to do without question or hesitance and taking matters into his own hands if someone said or did anything against me. I was still unsure about the reasons for his loyalty though I didn't bother questioning it as long as it stayed genuine.