I'm gonna skip Francisco cause I moved from my home and nothing exciting really happened with him I promise but whatever hits my mind of Francisco then I'll tell you. I promise.
This is of course about what the title says but.....just read it it'll explain everything but somethings might not make sense but try to create it with your imagination . This is all my thoughts oh how I think of my situation and I don't know if its a crush thing but really need your help on finding that out.
ok story starting now.
I like him, but at the same time I don't
What if he doesn't like me? Do I really want to risk another heartbreak?
I've been there and I felt it
It fucking sucks it bruises my soul and buries my kindness far into me that I can't find it
I like him but it doesn't seem like a loving thing
We share lots of things in common
Movies that we never known were our favorites
Adventures we want to risk to take
Stories that are beyond a like but small similarities
Just little things.....
I'm just scared, scared to fall from this incredible hight that it'll be hard to survive from once I hit ground
I know he won't catch me, I know he won't ever know the pain I'll experience, he won't know the signs that I've sent him that I was falling he'll just look my way and then look away
But why? Why him?
He's not considered my type
He likes other girls, he looks up photos and show his friends explaining how hot she is
I'm not even close to the eyes the girl owns, the hair that's long as hers, the body I can't have is all her and I'm not that
I do have high expectations for men/ boys, so consider myself guilty
Not all men and women are Calvin Klein models and Victoria secret models
They don't own perfect skin and beautiful personalities
Their just people
Maybe I have to tell him that, show him that not everyone is perfect
But that's just the same for a boy I don't even like to show me the same thing
How terrible of us people
We love others with the best looks not the person it's self
But it's our society
I don't even want to write about this to much because I want to keep it that way and make it sound like it's ok when it's not
How shameful
The boy
he touches me
its different
He touches my hand or my hair but playfully
We act like we're gonna fight and wrestle but we just make excuses to touch each other's stomachs
He laughs at my boring jokes or just smiles
He watches my every movements, when I go turn off lights I look at him and his eyes are in awe his mouth buried underneath the blanket
He keeps my company when I'm alone
He makes sure I'm ok
He cares
He actually talks
One night we went out and he asked me
"Have you ever had a boyfriend?"
Obviously I've said no
"I haven't dated since kindergarten"
*snort*
What is that supposed to mean?
Why would he ask?
It doesn't mean anything.
He does seem comfortable around me
He walked into the room when I got up and sat my dish in the sink
He just watched playing with his headphones
I walked over to the table to retrieve my iPad when he wrapped the headphones line around my neck causing me to back up, we both laughed
And he unwrapped it around my neck and we both went our separate ways
I so bad wanted to hug him, I wanted him to turn me around and just look at me in the eye and say the most beautiful words
But he didn't
I don't think I deserve him and I really know he doesn't deserve me cause I'm to good for his bullcrap
Because now he's gone to see his girl
And I'm left here thinking
"What the hell were you thinking?!"
YOU ARE READING
My Crush Stories
Randomthis is all about the story of my crush or crushes. I hope you could relate to most of them. Enjoy ;)
