Losing my mind|| Snowbarry

Ode to sleep

Caitlin's Point of view:

I walked into the grave yard quietly, fighting back tears as the rain hit my jacket. I walked through wet grass not caring about anything.

I was fighting back tears, he was gone, and it was my fault. I don't know if I can forgive myself for that.

I haven't slept in a few days. I guess I'll sleep when I'm dead. Barry's mother walked up to me, "I know you're not taking this very well, but how are you?" She asked.

I sighed, "I'm fine," but what I really wanted to say was "I am not as fine as I seem, pardon." I felt bad about lying, but oh well, can't take it back now.

I continued walking until I saw his casket. I stopped right in my tracks, I stared at it as a tear rolled down my face slowly. I wiped my tear away, hopefully nobody saw that. I'm invisible anyway, so who cares. I don't.

The day was cold, rainy, sad. I'm never what I like, I'm double sided...I guess. Barry knew the other side of me though. I know I can be twisted inside my mind, but that's who I am.

I walked up to the casket, slowly. Not daring to go any less than a yard away. I looked over and saw an old lady. I recognized her. Barry always told me that the woman was schizophrenic. He never said who she was or how they knew each other.

I shook my head, then walked away. I sat down in the wet chair slowly. Barry's mother walked out to the front of the crowd. I looked up at her, fighting back tears as i twitched, twiddling my thumbs.

A tear ran down her face, "today, today we honor, Bartholomew Henry Allen, a great son," she paused for a moment before continuing, "umm, Caitlin would you like to speak?" She asked quickly, I knew she wanted me to say yes so she could walk away to cry.

I sighed and nodded slowly, walking up to where she stood. I looked at her and hugged her, "it'll be okay," I whispered in her ear. She nodded slowly, before walking off.

I sighed, "Barry, he was a good friend to me. Matter of fact, he was my best friend, he had been since 8th grade. He was taken-he was taken too soon." I stuttered as tears formed in my eyes.

I walked off, crying hardly. I had finally realized that he was actually gone. I'd never see him again. He was actually gone.

Sorry it's such a short chapter. I haven't had much time to write between school and softball. I'll try to update soon! Sorry the chapters have gotten really depressing.