Late Night Thoughts

n o t t o y o u n g

When I was 5, I saw the world through the lenses of childhood wonder. I wasn't exposed to what society believed to be degrading I was sheltered, and I had a crush on a boy.

When I was 8, the heavy feeling of the world crept up onto me. I could understand what was going on but I didn't understand why it was happening....i did not have a happy early childhood.

When I was 8 I watched my mom's first husband abuse her constantly. I was too scared to speak up.

When I was 8 I would continuously be locked in my room, forced to hear my mom cry out for help. All I could do was cry with her.

When I was 8, we got away. I was free to be a kid, but my mom's screams still haunted me in my sleep.

When I was 9 we moved in with my cousin. Nobody knew this but I would scream for help behind my closed eyelids.

When I was 9 I only had one thing on my mind, protecting me and my own.

When I was 10 i finally had a best friend. She was the best person and we did everything together. But I realized I would stare a little too long.

When I was 10, I moved away from my best friend. My mom got married. My bedroom was right above there's. I always heard the screaming.

When I was 11, i began middle school. And with that comes locker rooms. With locker rooms comes seeing girls get dressed, and I know I shouldn't have looked but I did.

When I was 12, I got my first boyfriend. When I was 12 my mom was going through a divorce. When I was 12 I realized I was depressed.

When I was 13, I met her. She was oh so beautiful and oh so untouchable at the same time. When I was 13, i met him. It was normal.

When I was 14, I started to self harm. Nobody knew. When I was 14 I would take painkillers to make me high. Everybody thought they were anti-depressants. Nobody cared anyways.

When I was 15, I tried to overdose but got to scared. When I was 15 I cried myself to sleep. When I was 15 my nudes were leaked to the whole school. When I was 15 I tried to kill myself.

When I was 15, I became introduced to the LGBT community. When I was 15, I met her. She is the light that one sees when you first open your eyes to begin another day. When I was 15, i realized I was a lesbian.

I am not too young to witness the real world. Never use age as a way to escape reality.