Not Another Diva

6 - Playback

Flicker // Niall Horan

Approaching the blanket with nerves so strong I can barely stand, I find that I'm looking everywhere I can except into her eyes. For the last hour I've been watching Brianna doing her lip sync thing from down the hill. The director and camera operator have been practically in her face the whole time getting close ups. She's danced on the thing, knelt while swaying and rolled all over. I'm not sure why, but I felt embarrassed for her. She doesn't seem like she enjoys any of that at all but goes along for the image.

The funny thing is, this video seems nothing like the others she's made. And I've literally seen them all. Each song of hers has a fantasy attached to it, made tangible in her videos. The lighting, the costumes, the setting...everything is created to make her seem angelic, or like a dream come true. Something that no one could possibly have in real life.

But this whole thing has been so real, it's unnerving. Her outfits have been t shirts and shorts, no bling or sparkle on any of it. Her make-up has been minimal, no heavy face paint like I was used to seeing in every picture of her I found. We filmed in barracks and a park, not some mansion or private tropical island. It's like they want this video to look more like a home movie than a music fantasy.

Oh. Damn, why hadn't I seen this before? Like Char said, they are using this video to paint us as a real couple. Home movies would do that. Crap, I'm an idiot.

Now here I am, about to have my hands all over her for the sake of...her safety? This is seriously messing with my head because holy shit, she's just so beautiful. Especially during this shoot where they have her looking like she's actually attainable for a normal guy like me. I'm no player, I've got no moves or smooth lines to drop on her. I can't woo someone like her to save my life. All I have are these phony scenes made to look like the real thing and it's becoming too fuzzy for my own good.

Which is why I can't look her in the eyes. If I see her react, I'm going to misread everything she does. Then I'm going to over think everything I do. And that will be the end of my sanity, the end of making this whole scam look real. I can't do that to her, not after I've seen how she calms down the fear when I'm with her.

"Okay, you two. This is the culmination of our project. We'll start with the cameras set back a little, like yesterday's Karate scene. You just do what comes natural and then we'll choose a few moments for close ups later." The director, some guy named...Guy, sure does like us to improvise.

Brianna just nods, which I feel more than see because nope, still not looking at her. I take a spot on the blanket and cross my legs. It feels really awkward and unnatural. What would I do if this was a real date? Not sit cross legged and keep my eyes off of my girl, that's for sure. I uncross everything and stretch out, reclining a bit on my elbow. Brianna is now laying on her back, not right next to me but close enough that my arm almost touches hers. I'm looking at her arm, instead of her face, because I still don't trust myself. We stay just as we are, unmoving for the time being until the director is set up and yells, "Action!" I guess.

A few tense minutes pass with both of us silently waiting. I think the tension is all on my side of the blanket until I hear Brianna blow out a shaky breath. I'm so tempted to look at her face, but I keep it in check and look at her shoulder instead. I'm not sure why she would be tense about this whole thing. She does it all the time. I've seen plenty of oiled up, shirtless guys putting their hands all over her with a hungry look in their eyes. Here I am in a blue t shirt and plaid board shorts, no oil in sight. And I have a feeling this realistic home made style video will be way less sexual than her usual stuff. She should be completely relaxed at this point.

"Playback!" I hear the director yell, then the intro to her song starts and I feel myself start to sweat. This is really happening. My eyes travel from her shoulder to her hair. I love her hair. It looks so soft, all I've wanted to do for days is run my fingers through it. I'm such a mess around her. Certainly no alpha male-claim-the-woman-I-lust-after kind of guy. It occurs to me that's probably why they chose me over the other guys at the audition. I'm safe.