unpolished [lams]

Costume Party (2/2)

John's P. O. V

I stood there in shock. I really didn't know what to do. I felt my throat knotting and my stomach felt heavy. I turned around and stared walking fast among the group of sweaty people.

Once I made it to a blank spot, I grabbed my hair, pulling it back, trying to recompose. I take my phone out and decide to text Lafayette.

To: Favoritefrenchgay

Yo, I left the party, not feelin well. Tell Alex I'll let the dorm key under the carpet.

I bursted of of the house and the cold wind hit my face. I really didn't care. Nothing could get any colder than my mind right now.

It was stupid to believe that he actually wantede to come just to have fun with me. I'm stupid. My life is a fucking joke and it's stupid.

I walk to my dorm, kicking some pebbles on the way. The only thing that could be heard was my slow stepping and the bouncing of the little rocks against the pavement.

When I made it to my dorm building I checked the time. It was almost midnight and I didn't realize that I was very tired until my bed got into my sight field.

I took off the stupid costume and stayed in my underwear, throwing myself over my back on the bed. I heard a notification sound and took my phone.

From: Favoritefrenchgay

Hercules says "not feeling well" It's an excuse to leave, Mon Ami

From: Favoritefrenchgay

I believe you, though.
And I will tell pettit Alex for sure.

I sigh and text a simple 'thanks'. I can't stand this. Why does my life should be this miserable?  I mean, I know I'm not the most attractive. Or the smarter, and maybe I have a lot of issue with myself. But I'm a great guy! I'm not as great as Eliza Schuyler apparently, but I gotta live with that.

I gotta live with the fact that no one is ever gonna love me for who I am. Not even someone as kind-hearted as Alex.

You gotta get over him, Laurens.

I probably should. Without even realizing, I let the tears roll down, making their way to my ears. I never liked crying over things. I've cried enough the las 20 years of my life, for worst things.

This is butterscotch taste in front of the bitter life I used to have back at my hometown.

My eyes start closing at the reminder of my past. Suddenly I feel really tired and I yawn unintentionally. Rolling over, I take a blanket and throw it over my half naked body, finally falling asleep.

*****

I shot my eyes open when I hear a strong thud followed by a small giggle. I get of of the bed, finding a giggling Alex laying on the floor.