Here to Stay || Ashton Irwin (completed)

Chapter 12

*ASHTON'S POV*

"Emma!" I yelled for the hundreth time, "Emma come back! Please Emma!"  I stared out the window, watching as she disappeared the further she fled. I had never been much of a crier, and not that I was crying, but given the pain I felt inside of me, I may as well had been. When I was sure I couldn't see her anymore, I turned around and returned to the couch. I plopped down and rested my head in my hands. As I sat there, I began to think. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream out, I wanted to feel something other than pure nothingnes, but the numbness was all I could get. 

Three minutes later I was standing in the doorway, looking into a destroyed room. The chairs were overturned and books from the shelves laid scattered along the floor, open and ripped. My chest raised violently up and down, as I tried to get a grip as to what I had just done. I looked down at the bruises already forming on my knuckles and winced as I opened and closed my fists. My eyes followed the path of destruction towards the wall and I saw the holes in it. I shook my head and tried to clear the hair from my eyes.

"Ashton, what-" My mom asked, walking past the room on her way to the kitchen.

I turned to face her, her face immediately attempting to mask her fear. I must've had a wild rage in my eyes because that was what I felt. She hurriedly placed the basket of clothes on the floor and rushed to me. Her hands landed on my shoulders and she looked into my eyes, a serious expression on her face.

"Honey, what's wrong? Is it the medication? Is it a bad reaction?"

I shook my head and looked away from her, trying to push her arms off of me, but she wouldn't budge. Suddenly I felt very sick and lurched forward. Her eyes widened and she dropped her grip on me, allowing me to break free and fly down the hallway. I found the door and ripped it open, falling into the toilet just in time. As I heaved into the toilet bowl, I heard my mother's footsteps approaching. 

"Oh Ashton, baby, what is it?" She asked, dropping into a squat next to me, her hand rubbing my back slowly.

"I just don't feel well," I lied, heaving again.

"Are you sure that's it?" She eyed me.

I shrugged.

"You can tell me," she smiled when I looked up at her.

"I'm alone," I finally answered after moments of silence. I wiped my mouth with my sleeve, which I knew would annoy her but I still did anyway, and looked up to see her smiling at me.

"No honey, you're not. You have me and your father and the band, we're all here for you."

"No mom, you don't understand! She left me!" I yelled at her, pissed off at a helpless obliviousness. 

"Who did, sweetheart?"

"Emma did," I screamed almost too quickly. The second it was out, I clamped my hand over my mouth as if that would take the words back.

"Emma," my mom whispered, letting the name run through her head. "Emma," she repeated, trying to pick up the familiarity. "Em-oh, oh honey, is this about the girl who died at school months ago? I know you feel upset, but there's nothing you can do about that."

I looked at her and shook my head. I knew she wouldn't understand, but I had to try anyway, I couldn't do this on my own. "Mom," she looked up into my eyes, "I need you to believe me on this okay?"

She nodded her head and waited for me to continue.

"Mom, Emma's still here. We're friends. She's my angel."

My mother's eyes immediately filled with concern, deep concern, "Ash," she sighed, sadness overwhelming her voice. "Ash, we're going back to the hospital. You need a new medication. This one is only causing more problems." She turned on her heel and exited the room. I stared at her, unable to process what had just happened, as she walked towards the stairs.