Chapter 17

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"Emma," he breathed into my mouth as his hands wrapped around my waist, gripping my shirt.

I pulled away for a fraction of a second to look at him, before meeting his glazed over eyes with mine and smiling. I couldn't even bare being away from his lips for that long and before I knew it, his mouth was on mine again.

"Em," he murmured as my hands traveled all over his body. "My god," he gasped, in reaction to my hands. Before this moment, we were aware that we could touch but any contact we made was always simple and innocent. We couldn't get intimate so we didn't bother, now nothing seemed off limits, now everything was special.

I felt his hands grip my shirt and shrug it up a bit. His hands had touched my bare stomach countless times while we were cuddling or just messing around, but never had they had so much intensity to them. I pulled away and bit my lip and his hands traveled a bit upward. I smiled and he smiled and I climbed over him, straddling his waist.

"I never want to leave this moment," he whispered. My hands cupped his face and I brought our lips back together. 

"Please don't leave me," I murmured against his mouth.

"I wouldn't dare do that," he responded.

And with that I started tearing up again. I could feel my body tensing and my cheeks warming up. Ashton stopped kissing me and pulled away, "Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?" His big eyes searched my face for a clue as to what was wrong with me.

"No," I choked, "I just, I this," I pointed between us, "This can only mean one thing."

Ashton covered his eyes with his hands. "I know, Em, I know."

"But you can't be worse, you just survived that shut down. You came back," I croaked.

"I'm still fighting Em, I promise."

I put my head in my hands and let my tears out. Suddenly I felt strong hands grip my wrists and pull them out of my face. Ashton's lips pressed against mine once more, short and sweet. "Baby, I'm not gonna give up so easily, I'm here and I intend on staying."

I sniffled and looked at him again. "This whole situation sucks."

He waited and I continued, "Now that I know I can kiss you, all I want to do is make out all day long-"

"I wouldn't object to that," he interupted.

I nudged his shoulder and rolled my eyes, before continuing,"and snuggle and just be close to you and, and, and," I didn't know what else to say, so I just picked up my next train of thought, "But knowing I can kiss you means we are so dangerously close to the worst possible outcome and all I want is for you to get better, but if you get better that means I can't kiss you."

"I guess that does suck," he said sticking out his tongue.

"Shut up, I'm trying to be serious about this," I groaned.

"So am I," he pulled my face in and kissed me again, "So what I propose, is that we do as much of this cute couple stuff as we can before I start to kick cancer's ass."

"Sooooo," I drew out.

"So," he said, moving his thumbs to wipe my tears off my cheeks, "let me see my baby smile."

I sniffled again and then felt my lips pull into a smile.

"Give me a real one, Emma," he told me.

I opened my mouth and did a full on teeth, shining bright smile. 

"That's my girl."

"What now?" I asked, tracing my fingers along his chest.

"What do you think?"

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