Here to Stay || Ashton Irwin (completed)

Chapter 19

"I love you," his big eyes watched me carefully as the worlds flooded my ears. I swallowed the lump in my throat and fought back the urge to crush my lips against his as I tried to control my breathing.

I knew I felt the same, I was absolutely sure of it, but now I had just gotten it confirmed. Now it felt real, like everything made sense. I scanned over his face, my eyes taking in the familiar features I had grown so fond of. He was nervously biting his lip, a usual sign of anxiety for him and his eyes were just a bit hooded, which typically happened right as he was about to kiss me.

I smiled and traced his jaw with my finger, closing my eyes as I lightly brushed my lips across his. I grabbed his hand and he pulled mine to his chest, allowing me to feel his heartbeat beneath the fabric. "I'm fighting for you," he whispered in my ear, sending chills down my spine, "It will always be for you."

His mouth pulled away from my ear and once again his face was in front of mine. I knew he was waiting for me to say something, I knew he was trying to encourage me to do so without flat out begging me and I knew I was being the worst tease in the history of the world, but I wanted to capture every single detail about this moment and I really needed it to sink in.

I watched as his eyes quickly scanned over my face, hurriedly looking for some type of response. His chewing on his lip was getting worse and I could tell I was actually killing him in suspense.

"Just forge-" He started, but I cut him off with a deep kiss.

"Ashton, I swear," I whispered, pulling away for a short second, "If you think I don't love you, you're fucking crazy." I giggled and kissed him again, enjoying the way his hands crept to the small of my back, bringing my body closer to his.

My fingers slipped under his hospital gown just as he pulled away, "I still want to hear it," he smirked.

I ran a hand through my hair and looked at him through teasing eyes. At this point I was stradding him as he sat against his white hospital headboard as he looked up at me. I smiled and unwrapped his hands from around my back and intertwined my fingers with them. He stared at our hands, tracing my fingers with his own, smiling up at me as I smiled down at him. I brought his hand up to my mouth and kissed his fingers, his eyes still locked on mine. He broke into a small laugh begging me to stop because he was overly ticklish and I did. Finally I lowered my head and rested it against his forehead as he had done to me.

"Ashton."

"Emma, please," he begged me, knowing exactly what I was doing, "Just say it, I need to know." I opened my eyes and stared into his, searching for the confidence and I found it. I saw it in the way he looked at me, the way his body just seemed to pull mine in as if there was a magnetic force, I felt it in the way his hands squeezed mine, letting me know this was real. This was us.

"Ashton Irwin. I love you."

He smiled and pulled me back down for a kiss and in those few seconds, nothing else mattered. He chuckled against my lips and removed his hand from mine to push my hair behind my ear.

"Say it again," he whispered.

I smirked, pulling away. "I love you," I kissed his cheek.

"Again."

"I love you," I kissed his other cheek.

"Once more," he asked.

"I love you," I brushed my lips slowly over his as my face passed over his and burried into his neck.

He sighed and pushed me up so that our faces were once again leveled. "I love you too, Emma." And within seconds we were kissing again.

- - - -

"So I'll take a pills break at like 9 and we can meet up down the hall," Ashton whispered to me after we recieved a call saying his friends were on their way up. The hospital had delivered three extra cots so that the boys would be comfortable during the night.

I nodded, "And I'll be floating around and just letting you guys hang out."

"You can stay if you want to," Ashton said, looking into my eyes, but I shook my head.

"I want you guys to have some best friends, no girls, alone time."

He shrugged and gave in, kissing my forehead, "I'll see you in two hours then."

I kissed his cheek and squeezed his hand, "Have fun."

- - - - -

I exited the hospital room and started heading down the hall. I hadn't really considered what I was going to do while Ashton and his friends were hanging out together. I knew Ashton had wanted me to go check in on his dad, but I felt like today just wasn't the night.

I continued to walk around the hospital for what felt like forever, but when I checked, it was only 7:30. I groaned to myself and tried to think of what I could possibly do. I continued to wander, occasionally catching cringe worth glimpses of the patients in other hospital rooms and finally decided that I needed out of this building.

Hospitals had become touchy subjects for me. For one thing, I lost my life as I knew it in one, I watched my family bid me farewell. I had watched Ashton nearly die a few times and I had also watched him suffer. There was no need for me to be here any longer, so I left. Maybe snooping wouldn't be such a bad idea.

I had been there enough to remember how to get back to Ashton's house, so getting back there was easy. I walked in, expecting the house to be as we left it, but that wasn't the case. Everywhere I turned, furniture was flipped, things were broken, chaos was evident.

Suddenly I heard a loud crash come from upstairs. I sprinted up to find Ashton's dad rummaging through his office. The shelves were cleared and the room seemed to be empty. I stood in awe as he grabbed six bags off the floor and stormed out of the room. I hurriedly followed him, curious as to where he was going. Ashton's mom was nowhere to be seen.

I followed the bitter man down the stairs and towards the front door. I watched as he loosened his tie and wiped sweat off his forehead. The anger on his face stood out like a sore thumb, the redness on his cheek extremely unnatural. With one last look at the house, he reached for his hand and threw something across the room. I whipped my head around to see what it was and turned just in time to see his golden wedding band clatter against the opposite wall.

I stood there, confused and unable to make sense of anything as his dad reached for a picture frame on the table near the door. I had seen the picture multiple times. It was of Ashton, sitting behind a drumkit at school right before a recital. He had the biggest smile on his face and his hair was completely messed up and the show hadn't even started yet.

I snapped back to the present as his dad moved his thumb over the glass protecting the photograph. Somehow this glass seemed to be the only surface not smashed in the room. With one last look to the frame, he whispered an "I'm sorry," placed it back on the table, and disappeared through the front door.

I stood there dumbfounded as to what had just happened, yet more importantly what I was going to do about it.

- - - - -

im so sorry, i feel like i say that so often but i went on vacation and i thought i was going to have internet but i didnt and that was last week and this week i went to nyc for 5sos and i saw them on the today show and i met them again and it was amazing but i didnt sleep or eat for 4 days so i kinda got sick and now im just resting. im driving to disney tomorrow so i may or may not be able to get to my luke fic, but please hang in there

i hope you all enjoyed this

i love you all. comment/vote stay fab xoxox -em