Here to Stay || Ashton Irwin (completed)

Chapter 13

I woke up to the chirping of birds and a distant barking of a dog. I sat up, hearing hundreds of bones cracking as I pushed off the inclined chair. I stood up and stretched, peeking out the window for an idea of what time it was. When I pressed my nose against the glass, I saw the last thing I expected to see. Curled up in a thin blanket, just outside the poolshed was a sleeping Ashton. I raised my eyebrow and felt my breath catch in my throat as I looked down at him, breathing shallow. My brain screamed at me to leave right that second, to ignore him and just go the other way, but my heart had already taken note of the chilled temperature he was sleeping in and the cuteness of it all. 

I slowly crept towards the doorway of the shed, and quietly pushed the door open. I glided over to where he sat, leaning against the wall of the small building. Slowly, I placed my hand on his upper shoulder and slowly shook him awake.

"Ash?" I asked him, still keeping my voice at a whisper.

He stirred in his sleep but didn't wake up. I scooted closer and grabbed his hand with mine. His long fingers felt like ice and I cupped mine around them in an attempt to warm him up. "Ash?" I whispered again, hoping this would prove more effective than my last attempt.

Though he didn't wake up, I noticed moveement under his eyelids and felt a wave of relief I didn't know I was waiting for, wash over me. My hands continued to grasp his as I brought them as close to my mouth as I could before blowing hot breath over them. 

"Ash please wake up sunshine," I cooed. Finally after a few minutes of silence, his eyes fluttered open.

"Emma?" He asked, his hand rubbing the back of his neck and then through his hair. 

"Yeah?"

"How did I get here?" He asked me, blinking as he adjusted to the sunlight.

"I was about to ask you the same question," I replied, turning myself so that I was sitting criss-crossed and facing him.

"I don't remember anything from last night."

I raised an eyebrow and squeezed his hands, "What do you mean?"

"I mean one minute I was fine and the next I felt like I was floating."

I raised a hand to cover my mouth, "Ash I don't think it's safe to mix your medication with alcohol," I told him.

"But I didn't get drunk last night," he told me, his eyes pleading, "I'm surprised you even care," he added, mumbling.

"I know but maybe your friends did it?" I chose to ignore the second part, knowing it would only get me into more of a pickle.

"They wouldn't."

I shook my head, tired of the back and forth, "Okay anyway, just let's stay away from alcohol from now on."

He rolled his eyes and jerked his hands away. Ashton's eyes suddenly threw up a wall right dab in the middle of us. His mood seemed to darken and he turned away from me as he coughed.

"Ash?" I asked cautiously.

"What?" He spat, suddenly a lot colder than he had been just moments ago. "I'm surprised you came back," he added, "After you basically did the one thing I made you promise that you'd never do."

"Ashton, please, just hear me out," I asked, leaning towards him. He pushed his hands into the patio and scooted himself away from me. Though I had been the one to leave, watching it happen within this small distance made me realize what I had truly done to him. "Ashton it was wrong of me to do that, I'll admit that much, and it's not like I can just tell you what happened and be free to go, but I just needed to clear my head."

"What about?"

I threw my hands up, "I don't know!" I practically shouted, "My parents, my future," I paused, took a deep breath and finally spoke up, "Us."

"There is no "us"," he scowled, "You made that perfectly clear."

I put my head in my hands. It had been confirmed. I was too late. It was over. 

"Hey," I felt his hand on mine, after a really long break of silence, "Are you okay?"

I tried to nod, but I couldn't lie to him. I had done enough damage that I couldn't bring myself to lie. I let out a choked sob and shook my head. "I wanted to talk to you about 'us' I wanted to explain to you. I want it, I want it so badly but I can't hurt you like that."

"Hurt me?" He asked.

"It's everything I said before. I want you to get worse, but I don't. I want you to be able to be with me but you can't, because I want to kiss you and be that girl for you, but that means you have to be sick. How can I wish that upon you?"

"We don't need any of that stuff," He spoke up. "We can be our own type of couple."

I sighed and shook my head, "But I want to do everything with you. It's so frustrating to be so close but so far at the same time."

I shook my head and looked down, unable to continue any longer. I suddenly felt a finger on my chin and instead of freaking out over the fact this was just another part of me he couldn't pass through, I welcomed the touch. "Hey," he whispered, his face closer to mine now than ever before. I looked up and caught the gaze of his eyes, boring down into my own. 

"Hi," I replied, smiling gently, tears pooling in my eyes as the realization hit me.

We weren't meant to be, but we were meant to end up together. It was just how it was going to happen and no matter what I did, I wouldn't have been able to stop it. i felt it. He felt it. Others probably felt it too, just passed it off as some actual couple's tension. 

As I felt his hand move up my cheek, my tears streamed down my face.

"Don't worry about me," he whispered, his lips coming closer, "Don't worry about me one bit."

"How can you say that?" I asked him, finally facing what this all meant.

"Because I know I'm going to be fine. I have you. I have my rock, my angel, my best friend and now I know she isn't going to up and leave because despite everything, she wants me the way I want her. And she can finally admit it."

I smirked and scooted closer to him against the shed, "She seems pretty great, when do I get to meet her," I teased.

"I don't know Ems, but I have a feeling you'll love her."

- - - - - 

ok so idk im not as in love with this story as i once was, but im still going to finish it. if you haven't yet checked out my Luke fic "But I Need You" I suggest you do that bc damn

anyway dont forget to vote and comment

ok stay fab xoxox -em