Goodbye Sanity, Hello Akatsuki [On Hold]

Chapter 7: Influenza and a Black Eye

Chapter Seven: Influenza and a Black Eye

Tanith

Now I don't need to explain to you guys how FUNNEH it was watching Hidan and Deidara suffer in the kennels. I'm sure you can imagine a blonde bombast and a silver-haired Jashinist chilling to the bone in the dreadful winter weather. Today was the day we let them inside again, a lot like children coming back from time-out.

I was to do the honours of letting them inside- since Kat would probably try to castrate them and Sam would just be too polite. I'm the one in between those two because I'm awesome like that.

So on a rather bright, sunny day, I walked out to the two idiots, saying hi to the sun, the birds and the trees like any good-natured, sane girl would do. When I came to the kennels, I freaking stressed out. Neither of them were there. WHAT THE HELL? I was practically pulling my hair out as worry weighed down on me hard. Oh, I wasn't concerned for Hidan and Dei getting hurt, I was concerned for the townspeople that could get hurt by them.

"Holy mother of Narnia, Kate is going to kill me when she gets back from work. ZOMG! WHAT IF THE MORONS FOLLOWED HER TO HER JOB?" I began to hyperventilate at the many possibilities.

"What the fuck are you doing here, bitch?" Hidan asked.

"Oh, you know. Only trying to find out where you and Deidara disappeared to. STOP PLAYING WITH MY MIND!" I shrieked.

"…"

"…"

Awkward silence.

"OH MY GOD! YOU DIDN'T STALK KATHERINE! I'M SO HAPPY I COULD KISS YOU- actually eww. That would be disgusting. I'd get Hidan cooties," I said, making a face.

The Jashinist gave me an unamused glare in which I was unfazed by, instead looking around absentmindedly for the blonde pyro.

"Where's blondy?" I questioned, frowning.

"Oh, the pansy ass passed out," he responded with a shrug.

I snickered. "Why?"

"I don't fucking know! He was sneezing and coughing an-"

"HOLY SPACE COWS! HE'S SICK!" I exclaimed. "QUICK! SOMEONE QUARANTINE HIM! HE MIGHT BE CONTAGIOUS! GET THE RSPC- wait…that's for animals…ARG!"

It'd be an understatement to say I was starting to freak out. I was running around in circles like a headless rabid rooster and Hidan was just laughing like the ass he is, not trying to calm me down.

This could be disastrous. Sam was the only one out of us that knew anything about medicine and she fainted at the sight of a half-naked (admittedly smexy) man. Katherine was okay with this kind of stuff because she was an authorised vet, but she also did a few courses for human biology or whatever- I dunno. I'm the chemistry and maths whizz.

"WHERE IS HE?" I shouted.

"He's by the mules," Hidan shrugged.

A vein ticked in my forehead. "WHAT'D YOU CALL THEM, BASTARD?"

"Mu-"

Before he could finish, I swung my metal baseball bat at him. Now I don't know about you guys, but I don't think he's going to be getting up in a while.

Enraged, I stalked off to find Deidara. Sure enough, he was unconscious next the horses, breathing raggedly and covered in sweat. Thunder nickered in greeting to me, followed by Shadow, Bella and the others.

"Hello, my lovelies," I waved, internally freaking out about Deidara.

HOW COULD HE GET HIMSELF SICK, THE HOBO? WE DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKING TIME TO LOOK AFTER AN IDIOT! HE'LL ONLY BE WEIGHING US DOWN! UGH! THEY WERE PROBABLY TO THICK TO SNUGGLE NEXT TO EACH OTHER OR THE HORSES TO KEEP WARM!