Goodbye Sanity, Hello Akatsuki [On Hold]

Chapter 8: Evil Plan Gone Wrong O.o

On a lighter note, this story has officially ruined me. Every time I see a lemon, I think of Deidara, every time I see my cousin's puppy (Brutus) I think of Kisame, every time I eat sugar- yeah, you get the idea.

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Chapter Eight: Evil Plan Gone Wrong O.o

Katherine

After 'the great flu epidemic of the Akatsuki' life was returning back to normal- or as normal as you could call our lives. Of course, I didn't work anymore so I was stuck at home more often, watching the brats. Worst of all, Sam had found a job at a nearby doctors' clinic so I was left with no one sane. Well, you could count Konan, Itachi, Pein and Kakuzu as sane, but they're all mass murderers so sane and Akatsuki kind of cancel each other out.

"Hey bitch, where's the sake?" Hidan demanded.

I turned to him and glared. The flu hadn't done anything to his ego unfortunately. He was actually worse than before if possible.

"Yeah, we haven't had any drinks since before we were at the base, un!" Deidara exclaimed.

His pride was toned down a bit by his illness, but he was still a complete and utter pain in the ass.

"I have to agree with Hidan and Deidara on this one," Kisame said.

Oh great, everyone was against me. What had I done in my past life to deserve this? That's right, nothing. Not even Hitler deserves this. This is torture.

"We don't have that much sake here in Australia. We have beer, wine, beer, other alcohol, beer, vodka and more beer," I responded, waving them off.

"What do you girls drink?" Kisame asked.

I looked at the bottle in my hand for a sec before looking up at him and grinning. "Juice."

"You're boring," he sighed.

"No," I said. "I just don't waste myself every night because I used to work. You know that thing you do to get money that's called a job. Yeah, that."

"We did work!" Tobi chirped.

"All you had to do was kill people. I can do that with my eyes closed," I snorted.

I heard Kakuzu mutter something under his breathe that sounded something along the lines of, 'we know you can'. I wonder what he meant by that.

While everyone (except for the more…dignified members) was sulking around, wishing that they knew where the drinks were, I started to wonder where Tanith was. Normally she'd come in and check on me every now and then because she had to work in the office and I was left with criminals. Knowing her, she probably fell asleep on the job. I could all but feel envious of her forgiving boss and laid-back work.

"YO HOLA BITCHES! ARE WE ALL ENJOYING OUSELVES? YES? GOOD! BECAUSE I'M GOING TO COME IN HERE AND REEK HAVOC AND GO ALL SHE-GORILLA ON YO ASSES! MWAHAHAHA!"

I spoke too soon.

"And she's…always like this?" Kisame asked. "I'd hate to see her drunk."

"Who said I was sober?" Tanith questioned, tilting her head in a puzzled manner.

Well this is ironic.

Kill me now. No, seriously. Someone go fetch a gun, put the barrel to my head and pull the trigger.

You all know what Tanith is like normally so you can imagine that when she has alcohol. It's like World War III mixed with the apocalypse. This is exactly why I hid the drinks from her. Somehow though, she had managed to find my stash. I, myself, am not a drinker unless I'm having a wicked party. I prefer to remain sober thank you very much.