The Secret ~A Kylo Ren X Reader Story~

Chapter 43: Falling Apart

~Your POV~

I felt panic bubble in my chest. It felt as if my heart was set in a rolling boil on a hot stove; panic enveloped all of my being. Even though I had left Tarika alone months ago, I had known where she was, who she was with. Now I had no idea.

I was terrified. I couldn't feel her Force signature anywhere. I felt alone, lost. My daughter, who had been with me constantly for seven years, was gone. It was as if a part of me was gone.

Time seemed to move slowly. Vizla took me back to mine and Ben's room; he was the one to explain to him what had transpired. I sat on the bed and let myself get lost in my thoughts. I couldn't tell what was happening apart from Ben organizing a search party with Captain Moccine and Vizla. It felt like eternity before Ben finally was back in the room.

The softness of his hand on my cheek caused me to open my eyes. "Did you find her...?"

Ben only shook his head. His eyes were filled with sorrow and hurt. "We didn't, baby."

"Kriff..." I let the curse slip out of my lips. I felt a tear slip down my cheek. "Do you- Do you think she could've gone to your mother?"

"I don't know, (Y/N)," Ben sighed. His thumb circled around the apple of my cheek. "She doesn't know how to fly yet. There's no way for her, or Tolas, to have gone off-world."

"It doesn't hurt to try," I mumbled.

Ben sighed again. "You're right. I'll get the shuttle prepped for us to leave."

I nodded. Ben pressed a kiss to my forehead before getting up and leaving. I took my time getting ready. I didn't need Sarise to put me in some fancy dress, I didn't need her to do my hair. I changed into black, form-fitting pants, a beige long-sleeve shirt, and a black, sleeveless vest. I tied my hair back and away from my face. In all other situations, I probably would've let Sarise get me prettied up. But not for this situation, no. I didn't need a long dress getting in my way or a heavy crown weighing me down; I needed something to move freely in, and this was it.

Once I was finished, I left my room in haste for the hangar. All that was on my mind was getting to Dantooine to find my daughter. Nothing was going to stop me from finding her.

~~>>~~<<~~

"She's not here."

I could only stare at Leia in shock. After spending hours on Ben's shuttle, after panicking with the hope that Tarika would be here, she wasn't. Panic started up in my chest again.

It took all of my strength to not cry.

"What do you mean she's not here?" Ben asked, anger laced in his tone.

Leia frowned. She placed a hand on Ben's shoulder. "Tarika isn't here, neither is Tolas. I assumed they were with you still."

"They weren't in their beds this morning," I sighed. A tear rolled down my cheek. "I checked everything, my guards checked everywhere. They were nowhere."

"We had hoped they had come back here," Vizla added.

I looked back at him briefly. He looked torn, miserable even. We both had missing children and had no clue as to where they were. I gave him a slight nod, one he returned.

Leia's face softened. Her brows furrowed in concern. "Tarika's only six- no seven- years old now. She couldn't have gotten far. I'm sure she and Tolas are still on Bendell hiding and waiting for the three of you to find them." She pressed her lips into a smile. "In the mean time, you three relax. I'll let you know if we receive anything from your people on Bendell, (Y/N)."