𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍𝐒 & ⋆ 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒！
as teenagers , the asshole
duo has more drama than
usual, failing to remember
that evil comes in all forms.
- ̗̀🎬 | 𝗜𝗧 𝟮𝟬𝟭𝟳 𓂃 ʺ
𓍼 𝗿𝘁 : 𝗼𝗰 ♥︎ ⊹...
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SEPTEMBER 5,1988.
So, I have a crush. I don't really know her all that well. All I know is that her cousin- Agatha?? Addie?- died last winter. I'll have to find out. People are saying that she killed her or some shit, but I don't believe it. Apparently they were best friends or something. Why would you kill your best friend? Unless she's a lesbo and this girl like, didn't want to be a lesbian with her. Oh sweet Jesus, she better not be a lesboooo!!!
September 7, 1988
SHE'S NOT A LESBIAN THANK GOD.
September 10, 1988
Stan was looking through this and laughed out loud. I think he knows that I like the non lesbian girl. I don't even know her name. I hate myself. Why me?
September 12, 1988
Stan found out her name for me. It's Ashley. I think I'm gonna call her something else though. I just gotta find a good name. Maybe 'beautiful' or something.
September 15, 1988
I finally talked to her today. She acts like she hates the name beautiful, but we all know the truth. Bill says I'm insane, but what the frickety fuck does Bill know? He can't even spit out a single sentence. Goddddd.
May 12, 1989
Woah woah woah, huge time jump. I found this thing in a box under my bed. Good news, Ash is definitely not a lesbo!!! Although she still tries to act like she hates me. I think she secretly likes the beautiful thing though.
June 10, 1989
I PUT MY HEAD IN HER LAP. HOLY SHIT. SHE LET ME PUT HER HEAD IN HER LAP. I CAN'T FUNCTION.
June 12, 1989
So, Ash hangs out with us all the time now and I'm loving every single freaking minute of it. She's so gorgeous. If only Eds would back the fuck up!!!
June 27, 1989
If I hear one more crack about the Asshole Duo I'm going to punch a wall. We aren't an asshole duo! We're sweet! And she's romantic! And funny and pretty! We're not an asshole duo!!
June 28, 1989
Apparently I'm embracing the whole Asshole Duo thing now.
August 11, 1989
Crazy shit happened this summer and somehow I ended up being the boyfriend of the most beautiful girl in the world.
August 21, 1989
This asshole Spencer better shut the fuck up or I swear to God I'm gonna pound his ass.
August 24, 1989
So now Ash is defending him? God, I wish I could just tell her what Eds told me but he says it's not safe. I'm really fucking worried. If I lose her, I'll fucking kill myself. Not really, cause Eds would spaz, but I can't.
August 26, 1989
Her parents are dicks.
August 27, 1989
Eds is asleep with me right now. I told him everything's gonna be okay, but I am going to murder Allen. How dare he touch him? He's not getting Ash.
August 30, 1989
I just want to hold her. I just want to hold her and tell her everything is going to be okay. It's killing me to see her this broken. I'm not gonna lose her. I know it. I just hope things go back to normal. I mean, it can't get any worse. There's no fucking possible way things are going to get worse.
