My Patchwork Child

Chapter Twenty-Three

'Thankful? I'm thankful for so many things...' I nodded, my voice trailing off.

We were on a morning walk with Chewy before Alden had to head off to work. He had to work four days a week to earn enough money for us. This was one of his work days.

However, that particular day, I was feeling down and he decided to ask me what I was thankful for.

I was confused by his question but when I answered, he responded, 'Then, while I'm out, really focus on those things.'

We get home quickly and Alden rushes about the house, collecting his things. I settle onto the sofa with a book he'd gotten me from the library. He'd told me it was very good and that he thought I'd like it. I was about halfway through, and I was very invested in it.

He picked up his bags and headed to the door, 'I'm off then, Bean. Take care and Mrs Salton is okay with you popping bye if you need help or are lonely. I'll be home soon.'

'Have a good day!' I called back and listened for the door to shut behind him.

I nestled deeper into the sofa and kept reading. But I got no further than three paragraphs before I become uneasy and restless. I was used to this routine. Him leaving. And I was fine. Usually, I was fine. But I felt really off, really empty.

It was an emotion commonly called 'loneliness'. But in this particular scenario, it was a longing kind of loneliness. Longing for Cinder.

Sure, I could head over to Mrs Salton, but that was different. I hardly knew her (although she strongly reminded me of Audrey, sweet-natured and kind). I knew it wouldn't be right. It would feel off.

Shutting the book with a clap, I grabbed my crutches and gently put it back on the shelf. There wasn't any point in just sitting around, doing nothing and feeling sorry for myself. I might as well make use of my time alone.

I'd heard rumours from villagers that there was a cliff at the edge of the forest. They said it was a gorgeous sight, that it fell down into a sweeping meadow that was always covered in mist and seemed to glitter silver and purple.

I wanted to see it but Alden wouldn't let me. He'd gently reminded me of the last time I'd been at a cliff's edge and I ended the conversations there.

This time, though, I trusted myself not to do anything stupid. The captivating fall wouldn't tempt me. I'd allow myself to stare down and see this Fantasy Meadow (as the villagers had named it), but only to gaze at its serene beauty.

As I reached the door, I made sure to contradict myself before I left. Alden always said to stop and think about the cons, not just the pros and weigh them. But he always warned me to trust my judgement and not constantly deny myself things.

The only real con was I didn't have a map – meaning I could get lost easily. But it wasn't much of a concern. The forest was small. Sooner or later, I'd find my way or a landmark I knew.

For a moment, I considered leaving Alden a note (in case). I quickly decided against it. I'd be home before him, anyway, so it didn't matter.

Tracing our steps through the meadow, through the forest till I reached the lake, I made it there with only a few minor stumbles. Travelling through dense woods with thick roots everywhere on crutches could prove to be a challenge.

As I paused for a break at the rippling pool of water, I considered heading back. Anything could happen when you're young, alone and disabled in a packed forest.

I dipped my toes into the freezing lake for a moment as a fox approached on the other side. I stayed eerily still and watched it give me a cautious glance before bowing its head to drink.