night toughts

cry

For some reasons, when a boy cries my heart actually melts.

And i have no idea why. It just happens.

And you were crying so many times. Maybe that is why i fall for you. Or maybe it is because of your cute blonde hair. I've always liked boys with blonde hair. Or maybe i like you because of your style. Your puma, nike and adidas t-shirts, and sweaters and your jordans. Or maybe because your sense of humor. I just love all the stupid things you say. And yes, i think you are so silly and stupid. So am i. Maybe this is the real reason for that. I am just trying to find the clue.

 Because i still don't want to fall for you, but for gods shake i do. I really do. Even if i don't want to realize it, i do. I don't know. But the thing is, that 7months later we won't see each other anymore. You will go to a highschool, and i will go to another one. You will slowly forget me. But i won't. I won't forget those times.

When i first saw you.

Of course you were crying. I don't really know why. But i really felt sorry for you. The first time you called my name. Actually, i don't even remember why you did it, but that doesn't really matter. The first time i wanted to tell you how i feel about you, but i was too afraid. The first time i felt heartbroken because of you. You really broke my heart. And i still hate you for that. I tought that maybe you like me. But you only were nice to me because you wanted my best friend. Oh how bad that was. The first time, when we walked home together. You were talking about my youtube channel. You were always teasing me with that. The first time when we were on a school trip, and you got sick, and i could see it on your face. You looked terrible. The first time i saw you holding hands with one of my classmates. That was the second time, when i had a heartbreak because of you.

And how i all recall these memories, i see that you really destroyed me. And i don't even have a chance with you. So i am actually a fool, to fall for you.

Maybe you don't deserve me.

But i don't care. I want to be your one and only. That girl, who cares about you. The one who you kiss and hug. I want you to say that you love me. I want you to send me a heart emoji. I want to have you in my phone contacts as 'boyfriend'.

I want to be that girl, who you never want to let go.

That one.