Never Say Never

Five

ERIN P.O.V.

Ok, I admit it, I was avoiding Chad. It was now Friday and I had purposely not seen him since Monday. It hadn't been easy, considering we lived together, but I'd somehow managed. I just needed some space to get my head on straight. We couldn't do whatever it was that he wanted to do with me. For starters, Eric would have a shit fit if he found out. More importantly, I wouldn't be just another notch on Chad Tucker's bed post.

"Hey sis, where have you been all week?" Eric asked, when I returned to the house after my last class of the week.

Eric and Chad were both lounging in the living room. Eric's question was innocent enough, but the look on Chad's face wasn't. He looked both aroused and pissed off. I smirked at him. He wasn't used to having to work for any girl, so the fact that I hadn't instantly dropped my panties for him was probably throwing him for a loop.

I shrugged, "I've been busy."

Eric snorted, "Doing what?"

I glared at my brother, "Do I grill you about your extracurricular activities?"

Eric glared right back, "No, but I'm older and you're...innocent. As long as your extracurricular activities doesn't involve dudes then I'm good."

"You're such a fucking hypocrite!" I tell him and then storm back to my room, slamming the door. A few minutes later, a knock sounded and I yelled, "Leave me alone, Eric!"

"It's not Eric." Chad said, as he opened the door and boldly entered, shutting it again once he was inside.

My eyes widened and I backed away from him, almost fearfully, "You shouldn't be in here."

"Jesus, Erin, calm down. You're acting like I'm going to rape you. Fuck, is that why you've been avoiding me all week? You didn't actually want to...well, we didn't really do anything, but I did come on pretty aggressively. Did I scare you? Fuck, Erin, that was never my intention. I'd never force you to do anything you didn't want to do. You've got to know that."

He broke off and ran a frustrated hand through his hair. He looked so torn up, I couldn't stand it. So I reacted on instinct. I went straight to him, wrapped my arms around his middle, rested my head on his chest, and hugged him tight. It took a moment for him to get over his surprise, but then his arms came around me, cocooning me from the world. We stood like that for several minutes, until I reluctantly pulled away. I took several steps back, because I knew I needed distance for what I was about to say.

First, I asked, "Won't Eric wonder why you've been in my room so long?"

Chad shook his head, "No, he muttered something about pain in the ass little sisters and then left. I'm sure he'll call some chick for a booty call."

"Gross, but I'm glad you brought that up. We can't do...whatever this is." I boldly tell him.

"Um...why?"

I blinked in surprise. I don't know why, but I hadn't expected him to question me. I mean, he could have any girl he wanted. Hell, I knew he had several on speed dial that would jump as soon as he called. So why did he care about losing out with me?  I shook my head to clear it and blurted, "Have you ever had sex with a virgin?"

He clenched his jaw, "No."

"Then why me?"

"Erin, do we really have to-"

I cut him off, "Yes, we have to talk about this. Since you have no experience with virgins, I'll explain something to you. I've held out for something special. Some girls just like to get their first time over with, but that's not me. I'm not going to be anyone's random notch on a bedpost, even yours...especially yours. So whatever this is, it can't continue. I'm worth more."

"Erin, we...you...damn it, you're cutting this off before we even know where this is going. Give us a chance to figure it out." He insisted, clearly frustrated.

I watched him for a minute, wondering what it was that was frustrating him so badly. Was it my rejection? He wasn't used to girls turning him down, so had I suddenly become an intriguing challenge for him? My traitorous heart was trying to convince me it was something deeper. It was trying to tell me that Chad might actually care about me. He might not just see me as another one-night-stand. My head, though, it knew better.

I shook my head and gave him a sad smile, "So you're telling me that you want a relationship with me? You, King of the one-night-stands, wants me to take him off the market?"

"Well, I..." He trailed off and rubbed the back of his neck, visibly cringing at the R-word.  Heaven forbid anyone mention the word 'relationship' around Chad Tucker.

I nodded, "Exactly. So, thanks for checking on me, but I'm good. I'm going to keep holding out for someone who wants more with me. Have a good night, Chad."

He took it for the dismissal it was and walked out, slamming the door behind him. I knew he was frustrated, but I still didn't understand why. He was big man on campus. He wasn't going to be knocked down a peg by little ole me. Nope, he'd have another girl in his bed soon enough and then he'd forget anything that may or may not have started between us. I tried to ignore the way my heart threatened to squeeze right out of my chest at the thought.

I grabbed my cell phone and sent a text to both twins: NEED A DISTRACTION, STAT.

Coral texted back right away: PARTY AT THE CAPPA TAU HOUSE TONIGHT.

I nodded and replied: PERFECT.

It wasn't perfect though. I couldn't get excited about a frat party. I didn't want to deal with any guys hitting me at that party. If I was holding out for Mr. Right I knew I wouldn't find him at that drunk fest. Then I thought about how I'd essentially blacked out at the last party, from all the alcohol I consumed. I knew it wasn't a good plan. I knew it wasn't a healthy one, but I could use a little numbness at the moment. So I texted one more thing: I'M IN THE MOOD TO GET WASTED TONIGHT.

This time it was Chloe who texted: GIRL, WE ARE SO DOWN WITH THAT PLAN.

It was a plan. It was a shitty one, but I didn't know how else to distract myself from the fact that the guy I suddenly wanted, didn't want me enough. He didn't want a relationship and I wasn't a one-night-stand kind of girl. So that left us with nothing. Nothing, exactly what I'd be feeling later, after a few drinks.