Clairsentience ➳ Derek Hale/Teen Wolf [2]

10. you're nothing

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any parts of Teen Wolf or its plot or characters. I do not own Derek Hale. However I do own Skylar McCall and some of the things that come along with her plot (Like Harv & Kelly's, etc.).

☽𓁺☾

Nearly twelve hours later and my head is still cloudy with thoughts of him and I in the locker room. I tried to scrub the taste of him out with my toothbrush, wash the feelings of his hands on me away in the shower, but the feelings remain as if I had just kissed him five minutes ago. The afterglow of an absolute euphoric experience. Something about that kiss has me feeling different, surprisingly not in a good way. The initiation of it wasn't even my decision, I'm convinced. Something took over my brain and body.

It just goes to show that, whatever's happening to me, I'm picking up on emotions and abilities that are not truly mine. They are so vivid and intense that they feel like my own, but logically I know they aren't. With his skin on mine, I couldn't have deciphered where he ended and I began. I adopted his desires, morals, and feelings. It wasn't a sense of knowing he was sorry and wanted to be able to kiss me again, it was those feelings burning in the pit of my stomach and causing my thoughts to become rather irrational.

So now I'm left with the question: over the last few weeks since I've been bitten, what feelings have actually been mine? What feelings have I mistaken for my own, but have actually been from other people? And have my actions been being affected by this the entire time? The thought terrifies me. I wish I could just make it stop, and have everything go back to normal. The idea of being incapable of separating myself from others around me is actually making me think that I might rather be navigating bloodlust and anger issues right now.

Despite everything, I drag myself to school again. I keep my hood up and my head down for most of the day, just trying to get through without any chaos in my head and heart, but it just isn't so simple anymore. It can't be so simple, when you feel the girl in the back of the room's heavy sorrows, and the boy at the front of the class's anxiety about his test score—and not to mention, the radiating hormones of all the horny teenagers shuffling through the hallways. It's absolute hell being around anybody, even Scott and Stiles. It's uncomfortable knowing what is going on in their bodies all the time.

I've been scurrying straight to my classes before anyone else gets there, since the emotions seem to be less intense when people come in a few at a time rather than all at once. I make it to English first, taking a seat in the very back corner of the room. Scott joins be shortly, taking the seat next to me as the two of us start getting our class materials out.

A few more bodies enter the room, and then a voice exclaims, "Hey, Sky!" I nearly mumble a nonchalant greeting back when the energy suddenly hits me and I realize who that voice belongs too. Both mine and Scott's heads snap up toward Isaac, who offers a big grin.

"Don't talk to her," Scott sneers, shooting the beta a dirty look. Unfazed, he simply shrugs his leather jacket-clad shoulders and plops himself down into the desk directly in front of me, fixing his collar cooly.