Take Me Higher

Chapter Twenty-One - Olivia

The group heads into the theater, but Blake pulls me back. "Have you thought about last night?" He questions, searching my eyes for answers. I avert my attention to the drunk idiots stumbling out of a bar across the street.

I was totally caught off guard last night when Blake said he wanted to label whatever it is that we have going on. Things have been great between us, we have fun together, but what good is a label? It doesn't mean anything. It's not permanent, why even try?

"You really want to talk about this now?

"Not really, but everything was fine last week and all of the sudden you've been getting distant. I just don't know what to think," Blake pauses. "Is there somebody else?"

I take a deep breath, shaking my head. Reggie made it clear that I'm not up to par. Even if I were, that doesn't mean we'd want the same things. I'm just really confused and don't know what to think with everything going on at once.

"No, I just--" I stop, reminding myself that we're outside in 40 degree weather, outside of a very public movie theater. I need to be honest with him, but I definitely don't want to ruin what I've got with him.

"How about I blow off Keely tonight and I come over after this? We can talk and stuff."

Blake smiles, pulling me under his arm. "She'll probably be pissed."

I shrug. "She blows me off for guys all the time. It's my turn to do the blowing." Oh my god, did I just say that out loud? That didn't come out how I meant it.

Blake laughs. "Oh, so that's what's happening later?" he grins, handing the theater clerk our tickets.

I playfully push him off of me. "You wish."

"I do," he winks at me, taking the ticket stubs back from the girl.

"Enjoy your movie," the girl chirps, checking Blake out.

I don't miss the second glance he takes at her, which is slightly annoying. Suddenly I'm recalling all of the times I've seen girls blatantly check out Reggie when I'm with him and he's never reciprocated.

Then it leads me to thinking about the fact that though I've heard of all of Reggie's sexcapades, I've never once seen him engaging with another girl. And now I'm jealous of all the girls I've never seen him with.

I shake my head, wishing it would erase my thoughts like an Etch a Sketch.

Our whole group is in the very top row, taking up almost all the seats. I take the open seat next to Reggie, purposely not looking at him as I sit.

Blake pushes up the arm rest between us while I take off my jacket. His arm curls around me, pulling me closer to him while I fight the urge to look over at Reggie and Penny. From this angle I can't see if he has his arm around her, but I tell myself that it shouldn't matter.

Somewhere between my concern for his intoxicated stupors and him being semi-affectionate, I have these stupid ideas floating around in my head. Even when I briefly crushed on Reggie in the past, I knew it wouldn't ever be realistic. We kissed the other night, and even though I was buzzed off my ass, I know it only heightened what I was already feeling. If anything, it's the high that pushed me to do what I could never do sober.

It's not like I was black out drunk and didn't know what I was doing. I wanted it and almost got more than I asked for, a part of me wouldn't have minded that. I would've regretted the circumstances, not the act itself. I just don't know what to do. With what's happening with my parents, I... I don't know what to do with these 'what ifs'. I don't even know what to let myself feel.