Frenemy | M.Y.G ✓

"Did something bad happen?"

So this chapter is how I cope with my feelings rn a little, I felt that it's okay to post again, though I feel bad that I didn't knew jonghyun enough. Also this chapter is also speaking about his death and everything so not a happy chapter at all, just so you know

Marvelous Girl: current mood

My tattoo... That's my current mood

Mint Ice: what is it?

I mean what does it mean?

Marvelous Girl: I always tell people a half truth

It stands for inner strength...

But it's only half of the truth...

Idk if I want to tell you this...

Mint Ice: I don't think I would judge you

I mean I barely know you!

Marvelous Girl: well,

You saw how I can get, depressed and all

I actually am feeling depressed most of the time, at one point I actually was suicidal and wanted to die

Well, I didn't, but it still struck a nerve inside of me that I wanted to do it

Since then a regular visit at a psychiatrist wasn't something uncommon for me

I found out about this one mental health awareness project, it's called project semicolon and well I found the thought they had really Great

A semicolon is used by the author when they wanted to end a sentence with a dot, but instead to finalize the sentence they put the semicolon

We are all authors of our own story so instead of finalizing the sentence I put a semicolon instead and continued on living

But idk man I feel a little down these days

Mint Ice: why did something bad happen?

Something involving you?

Marvelous Girl: not me necessarily

But I guess you heard about Jonghyun's suicide?

Well I think it just dug up a lot of my own past, making me think about what happened with me and everything

I feel bad for jonghyun that he felt he had no other choice, but then again I feel happy for him since it was his choice and he is at a better place now

I just hope he doesn't regret and lives happily wherever he is now! I wish him all the best

I also think of all the fans, his friends and his family

They must feel sad and devastated

He left a pretty huge gap in everyone's heart if you knew him or not, he left everyone sad...

My brother is mourning since he knew SHINee, his band mates too

I feel depressed and don't know what to do

I stayed away from the outside world and especially my brother these last days

I just hope he still knows I love him

Mint Ice: yeah, everyone is mourning

I know what you are feeling, I am depressed too

It might feel better for you but you know it's still there, you always feel the depression lurking in the back of your mind

If you want to stay away from everyone than that's okay, just let them know that you are okay from time to time

And I also feel like that for now, depressed, because I also knew Jonghyun

I would say let's meet, but I don't think you would want to do that

So just know that I kind of like you and I care for you ok?

Just rant or text me when you need to let go of your feelings 💕

Marvelous Girl: thank you very much, really I just needed to tell someone and hear someone say that they would listen to me when needed

And yeah I kind of like and care for you too

So same goes to you when you need to rant or text I am here for you! 💕

----

Sorry to drag you down again I just needed to let that go, because everything is kinda going downhill a little everywhere. I worry for my friends and everyone rn, so seriously if you need someone to talk I am here to listen to you.

And yes that up there is actually my own tattoo that I got on my left wrist and it had the meaning that is explained up there. Also left wrist because it's closer to the heart!

Damn this was long ok sorry I will just leave now!