e i g h t h ♂

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Surprise.

Surprise was the most hackneyed word that I came across to. It was used to identify when someone was abruptly clashed with astonishment due to an unforeseen incident. Describing further, he or she had dilated eyes, dangling mouth and being rendered speechless. A surprise generally ranged from excitement, amazement to extreme disappointment.

For Rena, however, it was difficult to describe. Her eyes didn't widen as much as what a shocked person would do. Not to mention that her lips were shut close. Regardless of everything, she didn't spark any response. This was the dead giveaway that she was, indeed, surprised.

Rena slightly squirmed in her seat, while rubbing her nose. She cast her gaze down to the empty table, playing with the fork. I can't blame her though, because it was out of the blue. I believed that she never expected me to ask. Most likely she thought I had moved on with life, or some shit like that. Now, she knew that I have yet to step out of the circle of my past life.

"Um, Ed..." After yet another round of awkward silence, Rena gradually broke it apart by addressing me out. Her eyes then trailed towards me, giving me a concerned look. "Why the question all of the sudden...? A-are you alright?"

"Sorry if it's unexpected." I apologized, one of my hands clenched tight on the fork. "It's just that... I have a lot of things occupying my mind, and most of them are about my past. I was wondering if you know some ways how to forget them all."

"Did something h-happen to you, if I may ask?" Rather than answering my question immediately, she decided to throw in another one. Even so, I wasn't annoyed nor mad, as it was a reasonable situation. If I were her I would curious too.

"Well, yesterday... after we visited Lynn's grave, I came across this one guy, and he reminds me of a friend from the past... but, he's not a good news..." I paused for a moment, swallowing my breaths. "...When I arrived back at home, I kinda have a... panic attack, and..."

My voice trailed off into the air when her distressed expression grew more recognizable. She must have heard the last two words even though I was muttering it out faintly. She blinked, before she moved her chair forward, leaning closer towards me. I didn't say anymore, because I think it was enough to send her even more worried than before.

"Rena, I..." I whispered her name under my breath, but my tone cracked because those unwanted memories flowed inside my brain. I still remembered that one pair of scissors that literally went through my eye, causing so much pain. Chills ran across my spine. Fucking stop it...

Rena abruptly pulled out her hand from her lap, placing it on mine. At first, I quickly shivered from the touch, but her welcoming vibe finally overcame the coldness. Her warmth, time after time, subsided the agitation that was supposedly building up inside of me. Basically, she was pulling me out of my miserable thoughts.

"Ed..." She sighed softly, then smiled. "Sometimes, it's completely okay to remember about the past. There's n-no law that says we should not care about the past, am I right?"

It seemed to be a rhetorical question, so didn't bother to answer it. I gazed hard onto the table below, fastening my lips.

"Whether it's painful or bliss, your memories will always remain, no matter what. A-all you can do is to accept that they're part of your life, and that's what makes you, you. Acceptance is also what makes you gradually move on with life."

She consoled me, giving my hand a little squeeze. My heart immediately fluttered in a fashion, and heat quickly conquered my cheeks. It stopped when her lips stretched broader, almost to the point where her teeth were showing. I looked away, staring into the crowd who were waiting for seats.

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