s i x t y - n i n t h ♂️

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The next Friday, 02:49 PM.

Forgave.

"It had been exactly a week since... I properly forgave Raphael. Honestly, Lynn, now that I came to realize that he is, indeed, a flawed person just like all of us... I felt nothing but... pure relief. I never have this kind of feeling before. Rena gladly congratulated me, and the moment I heard her made me feel like... I was over the moon. You're right, Lynn... she's the one who understands my feelings so much. She makes me feel special... in some way. She even motivated me to also tell Seb the story, but he only thanked me for stepping up. Heh, typical Sebastian, huh?"

I found myself chuckling quietly as I crouched beside Lynn's grave, caressing the tombstone. I had brought some forget-me-nots along, placing them just exactly on the ground where she had rested six feet under. I knew she wasn't physically here, and that people nearby would view me as crazy since I was talking to myself, but I knew she was still listening from up there.

She promised me that she would always watch me... and keep me safe.

"From that day on, I tried to... well, talk with Raphael like usual, just like when we were young. I have his phone number now, so we would always plan on meeting up at the park, then we would talk about life and shit. He would reveal about his current life in Minnesota, his family and his new friends there, and I simply listened. He would also tell me about his therapy too, and how he was still felt the immense guilt pressing against him. I would just tell him again.. that it's fine and that it doesn't matter anymore."

I took a deep breath, before continuing.

"There were still moments where we would be completely silent, until either him or I initiated a conversation. Also, I kinda felt the need to keep a distance, since I wasn't really comfortable with him yet. In fact, I still have flashbacks of what happened back then, but that didn't bother me so much. Like what my therapist advised me, it's completely normal."

"There's no need to rush, dear." Her words echoed inside my head. "You just need to move through the problem little by little, just like a baby taking his first tiny steps. If you fail, that's okay. Everyone always fails on their first try."

"Speaking of the therapy, it was... going really well. Guess what, you're right again about opening up my mind... if I only did that, Lynn, then things would be easier. I should have... at least let go of my stubbornness. Oh well, I can't just keep regretting what I had done, right?" I knew the question would be left hanging, so I decided to resume.

"Well, I was slightly better thanks to it, but my parents continuously warned me to never quit visiting therapist until further notice. It was to the point I got bored of them reminding me all over again but... I have no choice to obey. I had learned my lesson, and I didn't want the events from weeks ago to be happening again."

I wiped the sweat that was about to trickle down my forehead, as I sighed profoundly. The heat that lingered around was seriously killing me... this was worse than the days before. It was to the point where I wanted to drink liters of water until I was satisfied enough. Even the thin white T-shirt and shorts I was wearing didn't help at all.
Just hold on... I still have some things that I have to tell her, and then, I'll get out of here...

"Today and the following weekend... well, there will be no schedules for a visit. I heard that she'll be really busy, but that's okay, I think I'll be through it. Besides, I can use this opportunity to, you know, meet up with Rena, and have some fun. I'll be meeting up with her this afternoon and go to the mountains together... just the both of us. It's like a date, I guess....? After all, I feel like it's my time to... ask her out."

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