I Want You (GxG)

The Letter

I thought I knew Chris. We had been together for so many years, but I guess you don't always know someone ad well as you thought. We were... Inseparable to say the least. Our families got along quite well, and so we did too. I didn't really talk to her all that much when we first met, but soon she became one of the very few people who I could have long conversations with. I was comfortable with her, but I never knew what Chris thought of me. You would assume that one who is extremely outspoken and extroverted to be able to speak about their opinions and feelings more than someone who is introverted, but that doesn't seem to be the case with her. Chris just silently observes others while going with the flow and never voicing her own opinion. I'm the opposite of Chris, so I do that too. The problem is that Chris never seemed to be truely satisfied with anything. Whenever she got a new toy, Chris smiled and laughed, but her eyes seemed to be empty. It was... shocking, to put it in simpler terms. She always hid her real personality from everyone, which is why the Chris before me now may be the real one, the real Chris. The short-tempered, conniving, hastey, forceful, and boyish Chris may just be the real one. I don't honestly care anymore who she is, I just need her in my life again!

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I woke up in a bed unknown to me. The walls all around me were plain white along with the bed itself. It seemed to be a hospital bed, but I wasn't too sure because I had only been to a hospital one other time in my life. That aside, I took another look around before jerking my head to hard, causing it to rub onto the pillow underneath me. An excruciating pain hit me out of nowhere, so I felt around my head very carefully. Sure enough, there was a significant bruise on my head and even a few stitches from where Chris had hit me. I wasn't aware if the bottle had broke over my head, but judging by the outcome there is the possibility. Right beside the bed was a small beige stand. There, a orange envelope was sealed with my name square on top. As I opened it, a letter fell out onto my lap with the words "I'm Sorry" written right on top. It was clearly written by Chris. Unsure of the contents, I folded the paper and placed it back in the envelope with any second thoughts. I'm not really sure if I want to read that... Maybe I'll just call Lily and see what's going on. I got my phone out and dialed Lily's number. It began to ring, and as soon as it did footsteps could be heard running directly in my direction. The door opened with a loud crash as it hit the wall, and Lily hurried over to me with a worried gaze.

"How... how are you feeling, Ivy?" She asked, rubbing her arm up and down while waiting for an answer.

"My head hurts, but other than that I think I'm ok. Where's Chris?" Lily smiled and then frowned as soon as she heard Chris's name. Her eyebrows furrowed with disgust before she came closer to me and took my hand.

"She's fine, I'm assuming, but she isn't coming over anymore! She could've killed you, Ivy! You're lucky that the bottle didn't break as much as it could have! I'm worried about you, Ivy! Why can't you see that?" She cried. I smiled warmly at her and squeezed her hand.

"It's fine. Trust me, this isn't the worst she can do. I think Chris needs me right now. I know that-"

"Stop talking about Chris so much! Stop worrying about her! Stop, Ivy, just stop. Can't you see what she did to you? Why are you so worried about her? I'm here for you, Ivy! Don't worry about her, worry about yourself! Lean on me... please, Ivy..." Lily trailed off, placing a hand onto my cheek. I frowned at first, but soon realized her intentions. It was unclear to me how much Lily truly cared for me, but now I understand.

"Alright, Lily, I get it. I won't contact Chris again... You're right, she is dangerous... I just... We've known each other for so long, so I thought I knew her, but I guess not..." I replied, sighing heavily as I covered my eyes with my free hand. I heard Lily giggle slightly and let my hand go. Instead, she placed both hands on my cheeks and pulled them a bit.

"Good. I have to go back to the bar and clean up the mess that you two left. Who knows what else happened the two days we were gone..." I immediately pulled Lily's hand as she was about to leave my side.

"Wait, I was out for two days? Why did you not tell me this until now?" I demanded. Lily shook her head in return and knelt beside my bed, staring into my eyes. I wasn't quite sure what she was aiming for, but soon I found myself with a brighter smile than before. No doubt she was trying to tell me not to worry. I think... Lily is a better alternative to Chris... She... Really worries and cares for me... I'm so happy to have someone like her in my family. I reached out and placed my hand onto her cheek as if to say that I understood. With that, Lily left me in that room all alone, and once again I waited for another visitor to hopefully come...

I am unsure how much time has passed. I think I fell asleep sometime after Lily left, so when I woke up I noticed a familiar figure in front of the bed. It was Chris. I could see her speaking to me, but no words could be heard. I could tell a few if the words she was saying such as "I'm sorry", "forgive me", and "I'm here for you". She walked over to the stand beside me and pulled out the letter. Finally, I was able to understand her now for whatever reason.

"Did ya... read my letter?" She asked me calmly. I shook my head in response before sitting up.

"No... I'm sorry, but you really shouldn't be here, Chris. I don't think I can trust you anymore... It's like I don't even know you... I already told Lily that-"

"Why is it all about Lily now, Ivy? Lily this, Lily that, Lily, Lily, Lily! She's all ya talk about! You guys are cousins for fucks sake! You guys can never be together!" Chris shouted. I snatched the letter from her hand and tucked it under my pillow.

"Are you implying that I would even do anything... like that with her? What's wrong with you? Of course I know that! I wanted you and I to be together, Chris, but now I know that can never happen! I don't know you anymore... Are you kind or obnoxious, agreeable or demanding, modest or attention-seeking? I don't know you anymore, Chris!" I argued. She began to reach for the letter, but paused and instead sat on a chair nearby.

"Please read it, Ivy. It would mean a lot to me if ya did..." She muttered, crossing her legs in the seat and leaning forward as a way to say that she's waiting on me. I pulled out the paper again, but this time I read it.

"I'm sorry, Ivy. I hurt you, both mentally and physically, but I cannot leave your side. You see, since we've been together so long, I thought that I should act the same way as I did when we were younger. As I grew older, I began to think and feel differently. You know, when my mom left me and my dad I couldn't stand the sight of girls and began to despise them all. Then, I was reminded about you. Ivy, you helped during that time and kept pushing me forward in your own way. Then, my dad passed away from a brain aneurysm only a few years later. I think that may be when I actually started to act out like I have been the past few days. I jumped from guy to guy, only because I wanted the same comfort from them that my dad had. You were the only one though... The only one who was actually able to give me that... I'm so sorry that I took everything out on you, that I couldn't show you the real me until now, that I hid everything from you. I'm sorry... Please, Ivy, take me back and please give me one more chance!" I glanced over to Chris who was now hiding her face from me. I could tell that she was embarrassed by what she write and that she didn't want me to talk to her, but that was impossible.

"Chris, from now on I want you to be honest with me. No more Mikey, no more cigarettes, and definitely no more alcohol. If it's fine with you, stay at my cousin's bar from now on. I don't want you to be alone. I forgive you, but that doesn't mean that I want you to act fake. From now on, be who you really are, ok?" Chris looked up and smiled at me.

"Thank you, Ivy!"