I Want You (GxG)

Missing

The sound of beeping echoed in my head. I couldn't tell where I was at first, but by the sound of that and nearby pagers going off it became clear that I was in a hospital. Again. My head tilted slightly to the left where I could see Lily sitting in a chair with her eyes closed. It overjoyed me that she stayed by my side for God knows how long, but it just made my situation more evident.

My wrist was completely bandaged up, causing pain to shoot up my arms each time it moved. I don't know how much time has passed since the... incident, and I don't know how bad the wound is either. There was a call button by the side of the bed, so I picked it up and pushed it to maybe get a few of my questions answered.

Soon, the clacking of heels could be heard, resounding through the hallway. A tall, blonde woman stepped in and immediately hurried back out to call for the doctor. They both careened into the room with distraught and empathetic gazes.

The nurse turned to Lily, lightly shaking her so that she wouldn't be frightened by the sudden movement. She slowly opened her eyes and blinked a few times before eyeballing me. Her jaw dropped, soon followed by tears of, hopefully, joy. Without any hesitation, Lily jumped up from her seat with enough force to tip it and fell to the floor beside the bed and grabbed onto my uninjured left arm.

"Ivy!" She gasped, "I thought I lost you... I was so scared... Why couldn't you think of a better solution!? This wasn't the—"

"I know that, ok? I'm an idiot! I'm book smart, so I didn't know what else to do! I just wanted to help you, no matter what the cost was!" I shouted back at her. I moved my arm and placed my hand on top of hers. She straightened herself up, kneeling by the bed as she kept her head faced down to look at the floor rather than me. She sobbed quietly, careful to keep the noise level low. The doctor and nurse stayed silent until Lily realized that they were in the room and quickly apologized before allowing them to give their report on my health.

"I'm not quite sure why you cut your wrist, missy, but just be happy that you just nearly missed the artery and just cut a blood vessel. You could've died last night, so we had to put you on anesthesia so that we could properly patch you up. You'll be able to recover, but you won't be able to fully move your right hand as freely anymore due to the damage that you received.

"If you move carelessly, such as flexing your wrist too much, extend it too far, or tilt it too much, then it may open the wound back up. With this in mind, you will have to keep those stitches in for about a week or so. I would highly advise you to try using your left arm for daily activities to avoid any further injuries.

"We will be releasing you today, as it is noticeable that you were not intending to go through with this. I will prescribe you pain medication and an order for a stronger roll of gauze to wrap your wrist with. I will have the nurse remove the IV from you and prepare your things, so please sit tight while we get you ready to go."

I sat still as the nurse removed the needle from my arm and handed my clothes and phone to me. There was a long streak through the glass, but thankfully it still worked. As soon as I turned it on, over a dozen messages popped up on the home screen. They were all from Chris.

"I'm sorry!"

"Don't hate me..."

"I just wanted you for myself..."

"This is all my fault..."

"I should've been the one that got hurt, not you..."

"Please don't die..."

"I shouldn't even be alive..."

"I should disappear..."

"I'm not needed..."

"Now, I know why my mom left..."

"I'm all alone..."

"Goodbye, Ivy."

"I loved you, just so you know."

"I won't be back. Not ever."

I dropped my phone and stared down into my hands.

"Oh my God! I need to find Chris! She needs me! She's hurt! This is all my fault! I should have—"

"Get ahold of yourself! Stop, just stop!  Why are you so stubborn, Ivy? You nearly died twice because of her selfish desires, and you want to go after her? I won't let you!

All I want is for you to be safe... And yet you push me away and run to her, the girl who took your feelings for granted and gave you this pain! I'm here for you, and from now on, I won't let anyone lay a finger on you. For Christ's sake, Ivy, depend on me!

I hate seeing you take everything on by yourself and attempt to fix everything! You can't appease everyone, it's impossible... I know that... Please, listen to me for once... I won't be able to go on if you aren't here... I just can't take it anymore..." Lily cried, holding her hands up to her eyes, trembling in fear and sadness.

What do I do?

What do I say?

What about Chr—

No, I can't deal with her anymore. My first love, my first best friend, my... first heartbreak... I need to forget about her... I need to focus on Lily, the one who clearly loves me and wishes the best for me...

What's wrong with me? How could I be so blind?

I understand that Chris has probably disappeared to God knows where, but I just can't stand to be oblivious to Lily's feelings anymore...

Really, I'm such a dumbass for treating her like that...

I got up slowly from the bed, trying not to hurt my wrist in the process. The nurse left already, leaving Lily and I in the room alone. Together. My feet shuffled to the bathroom so that I could get changed, but I realized that I would probably need a little help to untie the gown and get it off. I motioned her over to me, nervously rubbing the back of my neck in the process. I could tell from the frequent glances from the floor to me that she understood what I needed, so she followed me into the surprisingly large bathroom.

I turned around so that my back would face her, and she hurried and untied the knot. She turned herself around so that she wouldn't be facing me anymore, and I slipped the gown off and my T-shirt on carefully. After that, I turned around and softly placed my head onto her back.

"I... need help with my pants... It's a little too difficult..." I muttered, continuing to hide my face. Lily turned back around and grabbed my pants to help me put on. It took a minute, but finally I was ready to go.

We stepped back out into the room and were about to leave, but I grabbed onto Lily's shirt just as she reached for the door to leave.

"I'm so, so sorry, Lily... I just... I feel responsible for everything that has happened so far, so I thought that I needed to be the one to fix it. I already told you, I'm an idiot. I'm not smart, I'm stubborn, I'm audacious, I'm erratic, and above all, I'm meddlesome. To be honest, I don't see why you have such strong feelings for me, but I'm so very glad that you do. If you never confessed to me, then Chris would've killed by now.

I want to protect you, just as much as you want to protect me. I won't do anything to hurt you anymore! I want to be someone who you can trust, depend on, and come to love even more! Forgive me, Lily. I'm sorry!" I wept, reaching up to rub my eyes. Lily spun around quickly to grab a hold of me and pull me into a hug as if to reassure me that she wasn't going anywhere.

"You're right, you are an idiot. You are  audacious. You are stubborn. You are erratic. You are meddlesome. Despite all your flaws though, you offer more strengths. You put everyone else in front of your own safety, you love to help, you defend others, you're hilarious, and you stood by my side ever since you were young," she said,

"I wish you would stop putting yourself down like that, especially when you are a great person. You are you. That's why I came to love you, goof ball." A smile spread across my face, and before I knew it, my lips were on hers. It was a comforting and  spur of the moment type kiss, but I never wanted it to end...