{SnK} I Never Left but... Did You Miss Me? (Jean X Marco)

>>CHAPTER 3<<

>>CHAPTER 3<<

((JEAN'S POV))

After the titans attacked, I haven't seen Marco anywhere... Anywhere at all. I was worried, but I had strong hopes that he was still around. After the attack, I helped out with identifying and cleaning up corpses along the streets. It was a sick job, but I felt like I should just do it anyways.

I was walking around, looking at the devastation. It looked like a huge massacre occurred. It was sickening to see, and I felt uneasy as I walked by. I saw some of the people helping, walking around with paper and clip boards, writing things down as they examined the corpses.

Sickened by the horrid stench, I pulled up my cloth I had tied around face to cover my mouth and nose, to block out the smell and the bacteria. I didn't want to breath in any of what ever lingered in the air around me.

As I walked by, however, a particular corps caught my eye, and I went to examine it.

As I approached it, I felt even worse then before, and now I felt like throwing up. I pulled down my cloth with a single finger and whispered, "Marco...?"

Just then a woman who was in charge came up to me with one of those clipboards and asked me a few questions.

"Sir, do you recognize this corps?" The lady asked. I didn't answer. "Sir." She said a bit more stern.

It felt like I was slapped in the face by reality and quickly I shook my head. "Y-yes..." I said but it came out a bit choked.

"Can you tell me who it is? I must know who was all killed during this devastation, if you know the man, you must tell me."

The lady sounded a bit bossy and it aggravated me, but I was more depressed than aggravated. "Y-yeah..." I hesitated a moment. "He is Marco Bodt... Scout of the 104th trainees squad..." I said quietly as I stared at the corps before me.

"Thank you for your help sir, I'm sorry for your loss... Good day." With that the woman left.

I clenched my fists and tightened my jaw. I felt tears swell up in my eyes. "God dammit Marco!" I mumbled. "You promised me you wouldn't die you asshole!" I tried to dry the endless tears, but found it was no use. I looked to the corps and wished I could of died alongside my freckled friend.

--- TIME SKIP ---

All the scouts were surrounded by the large fire that we had used to cremate the fallen soldiers (including my deceased friend Marco) I didn't dare cry as the flames engulfed what was left of my only friend.

Not too many people were crying, and I didn't dare cry either. Marco never would have wanted me to mourn his death... I walked up to the large fire, and knelt down near the ashes and small fragments of bone that were spit up from the fire.

I fingered the small pieces and ashes. "I don't even remember which bones are yours anymore, Marco" I whispered as I sat down. I then began to cry in my knees wishing Marco were back.

I tried to be strong about his death, but how could I when he's the only person in this stupid hellhole we call real life that actually cared about me. Above that, I warned him that he couldn't make a promise like that, but now that he broke it, I felt like shit... I should have encouraged him more... How dare I even let him call me his "friend".

I just sat there... Crying my eyes out wishing my friend was here with me, I felt as though he wasn't gone... But it was a foolish thing to feel. I saw his dead body myself! He is gone! End of story!

"I'm sorry if I wasn't much of a friend to you Marco... But thanks for being a best friend for me..." I whispered.

I was going to miss his cute freckles that dotted his face, his words of leadership and encouragement, and not to forget all of all our little jokes and friendly pranks. But what I was going to miss most of all was his presence...

I loved Marco deeply, but never told him for a few reasons. Mostly I never thought he liked me that way at all so I kept to myself and lied about loving Mikasa.

Feeling bad for regretting never saying things I probably should of, or not taking back things either, I just sat there, hating myself. I then stopped a moment and realized, Marco would have never wanted me to hate myself or regret anything... I then dried my tears and stared straight into the large flames in front of me and whispered out to Marco who was looking down on me from heaven.

"I love you Marco... And I wish I could have told you that before you left... For good..."