Their angel Optimus and Ironhide sequel To my autobots

Not enough

(!May have some sadness and cutting in the chapter so be warned!) Alex's point of view I woke up alone of course it hurts you know living in a one room apartment living on your own when your soulmates are at the base and I can't see them it sucks really I don't think this relationship is really working between the three of us I really do love them but is it real for them or is it just because if I live they don't have to die because that'll be the worst thing ever the thing to break my heart you know but I still don't think this relationship is working I hardly see them and Sam broke up with mikela a year ago it was just not working and now he has Carly and of course I have no one besides me myself and I. It gets really depressing these days I'm still looking for a job and I live along and the worst thing is they never call it really breaks my heart to know they're probably better off without me I just don't know what to do anymore I really do love them you know with all my heart but like the saying if you love them let them go don't hold on. It sucks even more that I don't even see bumblebee anymore and jazz stopped calling he was best friend and he better things to do now maybe I'm just a normal human to them maybe I should be like sam live a normal life and live alone because I know I won't be happy with a human like me it'll just hurt me and remind me of Optimus and Ironhide. I sighed and got up putting on pants over my underwear it was warm last night so I took them off but it was a cold morning today. I went to the bathroom and did my business and then went to the kitchen and ate breakfast. It was so lonely even I felt bad for myself. I then went to my room and got dressed and went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth I wanted to see if Carly's job had any opening at her work. Hopefully she was still at home. I got in my car

(It's a silver color to it) I was given it from jazz before he stopped talking to me it was a nice car. I drove to sams and Carly's apartment. I walked up the steps I got her just in time to see her walk out the door "Carly". I said. She saw me and squealed she ran over to me and hugged me. "Hey Alex how's it going". She said in her British accent. "Good I wanted to ask you something though". I said. "Sure ask away". She said. "Does your work have any opening open I really need a job so I'm not a home feeling sorry for myself". I said. She frowned looking sad and the pity in her eyes it irritated me. "Sure I'll get you an interview the day after tomorrow that Okay for you". She said. I smiled at her "that's great Carly thanks". I said hugging her. She patted me on the back. "Your welcome Alex but I really must be going I have to get to work I'll see you later". She said. I nodded and then she left. I walked into the apartment I saw Sam in the kitchen I looked outside the backyard it was raining I barely noticed I saw wheelie trapjaw and brains and the dog outside oh my poor babies. I opened the door. "Freaking shorting my circuits out here it's in humane what is this make us live in a box on a balcony right next to the beast like a common animal". Wheelie said. "Wheelie honey it's me". I said. He looked up at me his optics softened at seeing me. He ran and hugged my leg "it's so cold out their so cold". He said. Then trapjaw came at me "mommy". She said hugging my other leg. Then Brains came toward me he was a little shy around me "Come here Brains". I said bending down. He jumped into my arms. "I got you guys it's okay". I said. "Hey Sam". I called out to my brother. "Yea Alex". He said coming out of the kitchen. "Do you mind if I keep them for awhile it gets really lonely at the apartment please". I said giving him my best puppy dog eyes. "Fine fine go ahead they already freak Carly out so go ahead". He said. I smiled yay at least I won't be alone. The little bots go excised and jumped around. I sighed missing my guys the little bots reminded me of them. Sam came over to me and hugged me I rapped my arms around him hugging him back "I know you miss them sis I know but their really busy right now that's all". He said. I pulled back wiping my eyes "but it's not fair they don't even call jazz stopped talking to me I haven't seen them for six months and it hurts sam it really does is it my fault did I do something is it because I'm not like them is it because I'm human do they even love me like I love them I just don't know what to do anymore sam everything hurts I wake up alone every morning and go to bed alone I have nothing to wake up to anymore the only reason I live is because if I die they die and I don't want this life anymore sam I really don't and I don't think this relationship is going anywhere I don't think it's working anymore not anymore I don't know what to do anymore sam what do I do". I said crying. He hugged me my head rested on his chest "I don't know Alex but I do know they love you that's what I know". He said. I pulled back from the hug not crying anymore "no sam I don't think your right they don't love me if they did they would at least called the autobots don't care about us anymore has bumblebee called huh they don't freaking care about us anymore we were just bait sam were nothing to them and I need to understand that now and live a normal life now with these guys so at least I won't be alone anymore Call me later okay I'll be at home like I always am". I said. I looked at the little bots they were looking at me with sadness in their optics I smiled "Come on guys let's go home". I said. I bent down and they jumped into my arms I put them in my bag and started to walk toward the door "I'll call you later okay sis". Sam said. "Yea talk to you later sam". I said. I walked out into the rain getting myself all wet I walked toward my car and got in I put my bag on the seat of the passenger side. I put my key in and started to car I put the Radio on and started to drive. I listened to the radio it was a good song but really depressing. I started to cry my eyes getting really blurry tears rolling down my cheeks do they even care anymore am I not enough for them anymore. I couldn't focus on the road anymore my eyes were to blurry. But I did see a blurry blob it was a car coming toward me I moved out of the way my tired screeched they swerved I yelped I tried to control the tires the car did circles but soon stopped I breathed in and out. I wiped my eyes and drove home I parked but didn't get out I hit the steering wheel I could have hurt my myself damn it even when their not around me I can get in danger I started to cry the song played in the car I wasn't enough for them my head started to hurt but the most pain was my heart it felt like it was cracking and slowly breaking. "I'm not enough for them I'm not all I am to them is like a life line to them if I die they die that's all I am to them I thought they actually loved me but I was stupid to think that to think someone loved me not even my real family loves me everyone keeps leaving me I'm not enough for anymore I'm just a stupid human thinking she was loved I'm so stupid I'm so stupid all I am to them is a toy that kid that got bored of they abandoned me and played with the new toy and forgot about me I'm not enough for anyone". I said. I cried more and more tears running down my cheeks I felt something in my lap Brains wheelie and trapjaw I rubbed their heads I sniffled "I'm okay guys I'm okay let's go inside". I said. I carried them inside I let them watch the tv for till it got dark and they fell asleep I brought them to my room and put them under the covers making sure not to wake them. I walked to my bathroom and got in the tub and turned the shower on with clothes and all it was warm the water dripping from my clothes I rolled my sleeves up I saw the scars that littered my arms it's the only thing that keeps me sane I'm not stupid to cut the vain though. I grabbed my razor and started to cut my arms again I cried and cried the blood turned pink in the tub going down the drain. I stopped after the twelve cut. I dropped the razor. I sat in the tub for an hour till I got out and took off my clothes and bandages my arms and put some pjs on and went to the living room and watched a couple movies knowing I won't be able to sleep tonight knowing I'll probably dream of them and I didn't want that at all.