"Lālasāmayī - desiring some perfectional stage. This desiring some perfectional stage in spiritual life is not sense gratification. When one realizes something of his/her constitutional relationship with God, he/she understands his/her original posi...
I'm so stupid I'm so fallen I'm so anxious I'm so distressed I'm so depressed!
Why? Because its the harshest reality That I've finally realized Is that I don't love You, At all times, Not even when I'm feel so sad and cold! Not even when I feel happy and bold! I just feel this love, this bliss, Only when You decide to reciprocate, Only when You decide to distract My mind away from material attachments, But most of the time, it's in bewilderment.
I just love You When I feel like I should, I just serve You When I feel like I should, And let me tell You my Lord, I'm number one selfish living entity, Who always tries to use You For her sense gratification.
No, I don't love You at all, I just only love myself And that's why I want You to do all the work, While I'm sitting back!
My stony heart is rude, It always tries to delude I always end up caressing this body That is already dying day by day Without You, its just a nonliving clay.
But just look at my blackened heart It doesn't feel anything at all! Because I only want to feel loved by You, Just for the sake of attaining bliss, Because I only pine to get away from my own created distress.
No, I don't love You at all, For my darkened heart is big and tall, This unfortunate and heartbreaking reality does nothing to me, For my eyes still stay silent and tears free.
How can I now blame my mind for this? Whereas its me who see the negative patterns as bliss, How can I now rectify my unlimited mistakes? When all I need is just to do as You say, I don't even want to feel this bliss, For my mind tricks me into thinking its all I need, For it disguises You away, When all I need is just to do as You say.
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