The Flame (sequel to Kidnapped by Kylo Ren)

Chapter 10

"See you around, Nira." Giano bid me goodbye as I began walking away. For some reason, his words felt deeper in context than the actual meaning of the words.

I didn't turn to look back on possibly the biggest, riskiest decision of my life.

_____

When I reached Kylo and I's cell I stopped outside the doors. For some reason my feet were stuck on the ground right outside the threshold. 

My body was aching with exhaustion but it was difficult for me to enter the room for two reasons; the last time I had saw Kylo we had had a small spurt, and I had just finished ultimately betraying him. 

That night I had gone against the morals, ideas, and the level of command so highly cherished by the man I loved. I had gone against him.

I took a deep breath and walked through the door. 

How was I able to enter that door?

The room was dark and he was asleep on the bed. I walked into the bathroom and turned on the light. I began changing into my night clothes. I could barely stand being in my own skin. 

But in a different light, I thought more about the man who I loved, peacefully sleeping out there. He had a better chance of survival because of what I had done. I thought of Kylo prospering further, and then I thought of Kylo dying at the hand of the evil Aero. 

I wasn't happy with my decision, but it was the right decision. I was right in betraying the choices of the First Order.

Halfway through pulling my shirt over my head the bathroom door opened. In lumbered a tired, woken Kylo, whose eyes were scrunched shut, hair was ruffled, and body as buff as ever. 

Kylo blindly, tiredly took a step forward and reached his arms out. He gripped my hips and pulled my body towards his warm, muscular self. I tensed up with guilt. 

Kylo lowered his head down and pressed his lips to my neck. "I'm sorry I got angry earlier." He mumbled exhaustedly and apologetically. 

I couldn't help the small smile growing on my face, and the joy his sweet sleepy voice brought me was fought by my horrid, absorbing guilt. 

"I just love you so much, Nira. I can't stand feeling separated in any way, even if it's just a small argument." Kylo whispered, wrapping his arms around my bare torso. I placed my hands gently over his. 

Kylo released me, grabbed my hand in his large one, and together we went and climbed into bed. 

I tried to get into my usual sleeping spot but Kylo put his hand around my waist and pulled me towards him. I reluctantly let him tug me into his warm chest. 

"I love you, too." I muttered honestly back through the darkness, my hands pressed on his tough pecs. I could feel his beating heart.

Seconds later Kylo's grip on me slackened and I knew he had fallen back asleep. 

Guilt tore through my insides, eating away at my conscience as I lay in Kylo's arms. Shame filled my face with disgusting heat and I wanted nothing more than to be someone else -- no, to be in a different situation. 

Making the decision to go against the First Order was one of the toughest in my life. 

If I would've gone with the plan to launch an attack, then I might as well kiss Kylo goodbye. We would surely perish. There wasn't a doubt of it. I simply couldn't stand by that idea and I'm not sure how Kylo was okay with the concept. 

But, as I lay in bed, my plan also put my relationship with Kylo at risk. What if he has to punish me as a criminal or traitor? I would either be banished from the base or never leave one of the prison cells for the atrocity of my crime.