The Flame (sequel to Kidnapped by Kylo Ren)

Chapter 18

The ship lifted from the ground and a scream of fury erupted from my lips as it shot into the sky, already accelerating away from me . . .

The entire horizon was flooded with light of the harsh sun. That's why the dark figure in the distance was so easy to pick out.

I blacked out. 

_____

My mind came into consciousness before my eyes opened. I knew I was awake but I was so tired that I didn't want to be. 

I sat up and opened my eyes to find myself in the middle of a room with graying stone walls, polished white tile floors, and accented with turquoise furniture. I was lying on a simple but elegant turquoise rug. I looked around and found two dark wooden doors on opposing walls. Sunlight streamed in through the long, decorative windows. 

So the First Order didn't get me, I thought, but where am I? Where's Giano? Our ships?

I got to my feet and memories of my last minutes in consciousness came back to me. 

I had seen myself through the eyes of another. I had watched myself get shot and carried by Giano. And something about the last few seconds of the fight, when I saw that black figure, told me whose eyes I was looking through. 

So Kylo Ren had been on Jakku, less than a mile from me. 

He hadn't come straight to me, either. Kylo had sent his stormtroopers after me, which showed me the stance he had taken on our situation. To send his army after me instead of coming after me himself showed me that Kylo Ren was against me. He was after me. Out to get me. 

A strong pang of hurt raced through my veins. The cold frenzy of losing the man I love spread throughout my mind. In just a few seconds I had lost my purpose. I had lost Kylo Ren. 

I could feel bile rising in my throat and nausea made my head spin. I searched the room for a trash or bin but couldn't find any. I resorted to puking uncontrollably in a prestigious potted plant next to the aqua-colored couch. 

So it's over, I thought horribly, He's ended it. How had I ever doubted going back to him? How had I ever considered not being with him?

I could feel a dark shadow looming over me. I had lost the man I love -- the soul I love. Kylo Ren would no longer be mine. 

How do I possibly convey the strict agony that I could feel everywhere in my body? Invisible torment edged it's way into every cell of my existence. I could feel the absolute pain reaching to every corner of my mind. 

I lost him.

I couldn't see. 

I lost him. 

I couldn't hear.

I'm lost.

I was trapped in my own enclosed atmosphere. I was alone and even though other beings did exist I was still alone, and I would be forever, because without Kylo Ren there is no one else, nothing else. 

It was my fault.

It was my fault. 

It was my fault. 

I was suddenly very aware of how vast the universe is. The billions and trillions of miles it stretches out came into my focus. All of the planets, stars, galaxies, black holes, all of it came into my sense. And suddenly there was nothing except for the smallest molecule of a point -- a small pinpoint that was me. There was nothing else without him. There was now only me and my pain.