READ END NOTE. IT'S VERY IMPORTANT
The next morning after Louis and I's night in the park, I woke up in my dorm with a wide smile on my face.
I had sex.
I actually had sex.
Shove it Taylor.
I know that's bad of me to say, but I needed to say it. I needed to say it because I finally went through with it, just like she's been doing forever behind my back. But also, I just feel grown up. It feels like I'm finally living out my life like I'm supposed to, and, I'm doing it with Louis.
I know Louis doesn't want me to like him... but I think I do. That blows my mind too. I never thought I'd end up with feelings for a boy. But, now I do. I have feelings for a boy and his name is Louis. The boy that terrified me... now he excites me.
I want to be in a real relationship with Louis. I don't just want to be his side boy or even just his friend. I want to be more than that. Boyfriend and boyfriend. He makes me feel some type of way that I've never felt before. I want that in my life forever. I want to feel electricity run through my body from a single touch of his finger. I want to feel the warmth of his body and hear his heartbeat as we cuddle in bed. I want to see his mouth in an O shape and feel his sweat as we make love.
I want it all.
I never felt any of this with Taylor and that blows my mind. Mostly because I thought I loved her. I really did. I thought we had everything. I was planning on marrying her after college. I was planning on loosing myself to her, buying a house with her, getting a dog with her, making beautiful babies with her, and growing old with her. I was planning it all because I thought I loved her and she loved me. I thought she was my soulmate. My one true lover. But, I thought wrong.
Everything I felt with her was nothing. The laughs were forced, the love was not there, and the "I love you's" were false. I just didn't know it. I thought that was as good as it will ever get... and then I met Louis.
From the moment he first started being mean to me and terrifying me... I knew I felt a pang of lust. I knew something kept pulling me to him, but I didn't know what. We always found each other and each time it was a rush of a lot of bottled up emotions. The only one I could focus on was fear... not the rest.
Now I know what it is.
I have feelings for him... I like him... I have a crush on him.
He's changing me, but for the better.
He's bringing me out to the light... and god I'm so ready.
_________
Everyone! I posted the first chapter of my new book on @rainbowships and it's called "i'm not gay"! So please go check it out! Thanks :)
Please like and comment ~Ash
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White Rose
Fanfiction(Larry) (Completed) Harry was an innocent boy. He loved life, loved school, loved his girlfriend, and loved himself. Louis changed that. Warning: language, drugs, alcohol, and sexual content Based on: Marilyn Manson's "Coma White"
