Chapter One

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I woke up and stretched a bit before turning my alarm clock off. It was a Monday morning meaning I had to go pick Brent up and take her to her classes before I go to mine. I don't mind taking her places since she doesn't drive, but sometimes I just want to relax. She has done a lot for me in life and I owe her for being my best friend all these years when I didn't have anyone else.

I shower quickly and get dressed in a creme colored sweater and a pair of ripped black jeans. I loved to pair darker colors with pastel or lighter colors. I had never had much of a style until my junior year of High School and it just kinda happened to come to me when I was shopping with Brent. The creme color makes my light blue eyes stand out more and make them more of a smokey color.

With my phone and keys in hand, I walk out to my car and got in. Once it starts, Blood Sweat and Tears by BTS started playing through the speakers, making me smile. I sing along as I drove to Brent's house and blow the horn once there. She walks out with her blonde curls pulled back in a ponytail and a comfortable looking outfit on. She gets into the car and smiles softly. "Hey Meadow." she says.

I smile at her and we jam out to whatever CD she picked as we drove to the campus. We both live a bit away because of family but we make it work. I need to make sure my brother is taken care of and safe since my parents couldn't do it. They always left my brother alone when he had an attack and never really cared about him. But my brother is my everything and I want him to be happy and healthy.

Brent helps a lot with him too, and took care of her mother who was battling cancer. I look up to her for always being there for everyone, but she needs someone sometimes and I'm the one she comes to. Which feels great to know someone needs me. I hate when people don't let me help them. I don't like feeling like people don't want me around. But that may just be my anxiety.

We pull up to the building where Brent's classes are and both get out. My classes aren't for another hour or so but I need to talk to one of my professors anyways so I might as well get it done. I answered a few texts from my brother as we walked inside and I felt bad that I didn't tell him I was leaving early. It was hard living with him, I won't lie. But I love him to death and this was the best option.

"Did you hear Bangtan is going to Paris next month?" Brent asks as I walk her to her class. "Yeah, but the prices on the tickets aren't out yet. I hope they're cheap enough for us to go. But there won't be any VIP tickets." I say and let out a soft sigh. "Poor Suga." Brent hums and waves to me as she walks into her class and to her seat.

I go to the canteen to get some breakfast, sneaking a banana muffin for Adrian as well. He's always liked the muffins from here so I sneak him some. I go down to speak to my professor about the English essay that is due soon, making sure I had every thing I needed for it to start typing it up. He gives me a few pointers and even gives me a thesis statement before I leave. Thank god for him.

My first class is Chemistry which is my minor, where as English and Korean Language is my Major. The campus is really diverse and offers all different kinds of courses you can take, even some private ones that the professors do in their own time because the school can't afford it. I was offered a full ride scholarship if I agreed to partake in the English/ Korean language course, it being the first year it was held.

After Chemistry, I have two hours before my next class. I use that time to go home and make Adrian lunch. Adrian has autism and doesn't like to be alone. He can't really function on his own and gets panic attacks to the point where he blacks out. But I'm there to help him. And if I'm not, he has an app on his phone that he presses and it sends an alert to me so I can get to him. All my teachers know and are fine with me leaving as long as I make up the work for them.

I make sure Adrian has everything he needs before I go to pick Brent up. I don't have a lot of classes during the week; they're mostly on the weekend when Brent can stay with Adrian for me. Brent gets into the car and lets out a loud groan as she tosses her bag in the back. I have a feeling she's going to want to go out tonight but I have to stay with Adrian.

"I wanna get laid." she says with a groan and I raise my eyebrow a bit. "Well, why don't you use some dating apps?" I ask as I drive back to my apartment. She just shrugs a bit. "Maybe I'm saving myself for some one like you're saving yourself for Taehyung." she says with a teasing grin.

I just roll my eyes as I turn on the radio. "Shut up." I mumble, making her laugh lightly and hum to the music. I pull up to my apartment complex and get out with her, walking up to me apartment. I hear a loud scream from my apartment and frown as I run in.

Adrian is on the floor with his hands over his ears. I run over and pull him to my chest, holding him close and rocking him gently. He thrashes a bit and I just hold him tighter. Brent gets Adrian's favorite blanket and wraps it around us. He starts to calm down a bit and whimpers softly before eventually falling asleep in my arms. I sigh softly and keep him close, rubbing his back gently.

I know he hasn't been taking his medications and I'm trying to get him back on them. Brent helps me get him to his bedroom and we lay him down before going back out to the living room.

How can I focus on myself when my brother needs me now more than ever?

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