I sighed, re reading James, Tris and Connor's posts on Instagram. They were all begging me to message them or talk to someone because I'd shut myself off. It seemed like everyone was worrying about me, but the one person who I really wanted to check up on me, wasn't.
Wait, that's probably because he's busy locking lips with my best friend!
I sighed and laid down on my bed, putting my phone next to me on my wood cabinet. My head was banging, I had been out every night this week drinking, it had been 2 days since I and Brad argued publicly on celebgossip post and he hasn't messaged me or called to apologise or explain what had gone on that night.
"Charlotte?" My mum asked, she was outside my door, the desperation was evident in her voice, I turned away from my door and bit my lip. Maybe she'll give up and go away like she has for the last few days. "Lottie please, I'm not giving up on you."
"Well you'll be outside my bedroom for a long time mum." I replied, hoping it'll discourage her. Instead it did the opposite, my door clicked open and she walked over to my bed, the mattress dipping as she sat down.
"James said you're still ignoring them." She said, putting a reassuring hand on my ankle.
"I don't want to speak to them, I want brad." I whispered and sat up, facing my mother.
"Lottie, he cheated, he's not checking up on you is he worth it?" She looked at me the way a mother would look at a young daughter when they're crying. Sympathy radiating through her facial expression.
"He gives me a feeling like no one else," I paused, my mum didn't understand so I continued. "Mum, even when you found out Dad got married to another woman and they had kids, did you ever stop loving him?"
"No, but I'm trying to move on, I've gone on dates and Lottie that's different."
"How is it mum?" I asked.
"We were together for a long time I had a child with him for goodness sakes."
"You loved him, I love brad and I'm not going to move on, because 'love' is something you don't move on from. No matter how much it hurts. I'm sorry mum but that's just it, I am not moving on and i am not giving up on me and him." My voice broke and the tears flowed.
"Shush, shush. Don't cry sweetheart." My mum said wrapping her arms around me.
"I love him mum," I sobbed into her silk night top. "Why doesn't he feel the same way, why did Ellie do this to me." I cried until my chest, heart and head hurt.
"I am sure he will feel the same way, I know that Ellie and you were supposed to be best friends but at least you know now, she's a backstabber darling." She pulled me away from her, "now dry that face, we don't get ourself over boys, message one of the lads telling them you're okay and we will try and get Brad back okay?"
I nodded, wiping away the wet area with the sleeve of my oversized white top.
"I'll get you some paracetamol too, you've been out partying you look like you need them." She got of my bed and walked out the door. I slid my IPhone over to me and opened up messenger. The boys had set up a group chat without brad when the news first broke to ask me if I was okay. I just read the messages and never replied.
Group chat: Jim jam🎸, Tris🥁, Con🎸 and you.
Me: hi...
Jim Jam🎸: OMG CHARLOTTE IS THAT YOU
Tris🥁: Obviously it is James who else would be using her phone that's locked with a passcode
Con🎸: Well you never know Tris! Con🎸: Are you okay Lottie?
You: if I'm honest not really I feel so heartbroken but I still want brad back
Tris🥁: Imma be honest here...
Con🎸: I think it's best James tells her Tris, they're the closet.
Tris🥁: Well I just wanted to save her from another mental breakdown
Me: what should James tell me?
Jim Jam🥁: Well it's brad
Me: is he okay?
Jim Jam🎸: Ellie's staying with him and they've slept together...
Me: are you sure?
Tris🥁: 1000% I caught them together. It was disgusting man
Con🎸: Ellie... We're sorry
Me: I'm fine, I guess it's over between me and brad then. But I'm not giving up on him, I love him too much
Jim Jam🎸: Please don't get hurt I beg you
Me: I can't make any promises
End of chat
I had made my mind up. I would wait for brad even if it meant waiting for him till I was dead. He may date people and that will hurt but, I'm going to wait.
(A/N I've updated twice because I couldn't update yesterday as I was at a football match! Also new Hope club liked my tweet the other day and I've been so happy for ages)
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