Several boring weeks pasted of me hanging around Kenny. He wasn't much different now than he was in camp, so that was good. Cartman was still a jerk but he didn't try to get in any physical fights with me. Stan and Kyle were both kind and patient with me, but I got the sense that it was mainly just pity and confusion.
Kenny tried his best to make me feel welcome in their group, but I stuck out like a sore thumb. Butters and I hung out here and there but he didn't like hanging around Kenny's group. They made him on edge, and he had many stories of him getting in trouble because of them. Kevin hung by himself and I didn't see him much, but when I did, he'd give me a wave and a big grin.
As for Craig, I had managed to build a wall between us. I tricked my own mind to not notice him, but I could have swore I caught him staring at me a few times. I just shrugged it off though, it was probably just him looking at something else.
The same routine went on for many days. Nothing seemed to change. I assumed this would be how my life was going to be for the next few years. Though on one Friday, it did change.
As I stood in the hallway of the school, pressing myself against the locker as a wave of people passed through. I leaned my head against the cold lockers and shut my eyes. It was everyday that the kids around me happily rushed home with their friends. While I watched, or turned down Kenny's offer to go with him and his group. Nothing was wrong with Kenny's group, but they were complete without me, and I felt like I was intruding.
As I could hear the nosies of the hall grow quite, I opened my eyes and turned away from the lockers. I sighed and slowly dragged my feet to the entrance of the school.
As I reached for the door, I felts a hand on my shoulder pulling me back. I nervously looked to the person, seeing a familiar face. I was taken aback when I saw him. Craig was glaring at me, his dark blue eyes peering into my soul.
"Hey faggy." He said furrowing his eyebrows as he looked down at me disappointed as I twitched.
"What d-do you want?" I spoke as rudely as I could but only a soft voice came out. I knitted my hands together to stop their shaking.
"Tsk. I wanted to ask how someone like you could make it so long hanging out with Kenny and his friends."
"It's easy, all you have to do in not be a complete and t-total dick head." I said spitefully, knowing it would get under Craig's skin.
"Whatever, at least I don't like sucking dick." Craig tossed right back at me, shoving me aside from the door, onto the ground. He looked down at me and spat before leaving.
He had so much anger built in to him, I don't know how I didn't notice it before. Maybe because before he was carefree and willing to be my friend. Maybe it was the feeling I got for him that blinded my judgement. Or maybe it was all because I liked boys and Craig hated that kind of thing. It doesn't really matter to me why, I just know that I should have listened to Kenny the first time he warned me.
I got off the floor, and took off out the school door. I shivered as the cold air covered me with its hands of ice. I sighed and began a steady walk to the coffee shop. Only a few tears were shed the way there.
Craig's opinions took a toll on me. I had been doing so good, without seeing Craig, he didn't have power over me. I hadn't forgot about him, but I forgot the feeling. The butterflies that arose when I was his eyes, and the knife that stabbed into my chest when he tossed me aside.
When I got to the warm coffee shop, it was already crowded. I ran into the back and tied on my apron. I took orders and made coffees back and forth.
At one point Craig walked in. I tried to pretend like I hadn't noticed I was taking his order by only looking towards the cash register. When I got his coffee made, I was kind enough not to do anything bad in it. While handing it to him, he snatched it from my hands and popped its lid. Then threw it towards me.
I hissed in the pain of the hot coffees stain on my skin. I wiped it from my eyes to look at him. For a moment, I swore I saw sadness in his eyes but it quickly disappeared into his stone cold expression. I ran into the back and cleaned up, hoping the other workers could handle without me.
I stood over a sink in the back that was used as a bathroom for employees. I locked the door behind me, and washed my face with cold water.
That was when I reached a breaking point. I slid to the floor, and just cried. I was finally back at home, and I was slowly slipping back into the kid who was alone in the world. The kid who didn't see a future in anything. A kid who was willing to grab something sharp and use it against himself.
I didn't have any type of weapon on me, so I used my own nails. I curled up into a ball and whined as I scratched myself.
After I calmed back down, I only felt more disappointed in myself. I needed help. Not to be sent away again, anything but that. But I did need something or someone. I didn't want to feel alone again.
I wanted a light at the end of the tunnel, but all I saw was darkness.
YOU ARE READING
It's really you on my mind (Creek)
Fanfiction>Tweek had been going through his life all alone. He was moved to a boot camp for three years of his life, and when he got back home, he had to start his life over again. >That was okay with Tweek, because he had made a new friend. Everything seemed...
