It's really you on my mind (Creek)

19. New Start

I wasn't sure if I should have chosen to let Craig back into my life. Then again, all my feelings would not have approved.

After our long hug, we got my tent down and folded up my blanket. I put the blanket in my bag that I had on my back, and Craig carried the folded up pop-up tent. He lead most of the way home since he knew the woods way better than me. The sun was starting to set as we left the woods.

When we got home, Craig walked me to my house. I was pretty nervous going back home. My parents would probably be upset with me, and Kenny would most likely never let me hear he end of his lectures.

On the porch of my house, both of us stood in silence as I slowly brought my hand up to knock on the door. I hesitated for a moment, Did I really want to do this? I guess Craig saw me questioning myself, and grabbed my hand.

He knocked my hand against the door, then immediately dropped it. We waited in silence for my parents to answer the door.

My dad answered the door, slowly opened it. As soon as his eyes landed on me, he pushed the door all the way open. He grabbed me and swung me into the house, hugging me so tight I could barely breathe. My mom came from the living room and ran to join the hug. Both of them were muttered how they never wanted me to do that again and how they were so glad I was okay.

As soon as they loosened their death grip, I pulled away as much as I could. Poor Craig was still standing awkwardly outside, with a small smile on his face. I turned to him and went to introduce him to my parents.

"Mom, Dad, this is Craig... He found me..."

My parents eyes were glistening with tears as they leaned on to Craig. They pulled him inside, insisting that he stay to get warmed up.

Craig seemed happy that they offered, but he turned it down saying something about his dad probably wanting him back. My parents insisted that he come another time to make it up. I stood idly back, taking in the scene. I could tell my parents already loved Craig.

As Craig went to leave, I told him my goodbyes and gave him a small hug. Even after he left, I couldn't stop myself from smiling. My heart felt warmed, and everything felt okay. All my insecurities and loneliness just subsided. My mind was filled with Craig.

I took a shower, seeing I had lots of dirt all over me. I washed up, and told my parents I was going to bed. They wanted to talk about what all happened, but decided if sleep was what I wanted, it was what I got.

Tomorrow would be Monday, and I wasn't completely sure if I was ready to go back. I went to my room, and crawled under my blankets. I tried not to fret about my worries.

Instead, I let my mind drift to Craig, and about how great it would be to spend a day alone with him. A day alone, on better terms that today that is. From what he promised, I'm sure those days would come soon.

I felt my cheeks tighten, and I tried to pull them down with my hand but it wouldn't work. I was so happy it hurt. Even though everything in my tired body wanted to sleep, my heart was pounding.

For once in my life I was excited for the future. I was so excited I couldn't sleep. Ideas of the life I would have with Craig played like a movie in my mind. Usually I couldn't sleep because I was worried about my future, but tonight it was because I was so excited about the future.

I wondered what Craig thought. Was he as excited as me? Probably not, but his smiles did seem genuine. Oh and how that smile made my whole body churn.

So much had happened between us today, I think it single handedly fixed our entire relationship. Or friendship? Or both? Whatever it is, I knew it was okay. I was happy despite how many days I spent on the bathroom floor crying for a way out. I thought my way out would consist of something much different. It turns out my way out was Craig.

I giggled to myself trying to imagine Craig getting flustered over me. That image of him I created looped in my brain over and over again.

It was him. His smile. His hair. His eyes. His face. His everything. It was him on my mind. Every detail of him stuck in my brain. How his body moved when he walked. How his eyes crinkled when he laughed. How his shoulders moved when he picked up something. How his hair fell on his face. How his eyes showed the world in them. How he changed my mood like the flip of a switch.

I wouldn't want anyone else to fill my dreams. As I sat curled up in my many bed blankets, I thought of how passionate he was when he asked me to start over.

God, I love him.

The thought made my face heat up. I hadn't even noticed my own consciousness say that. What does that mean? Does it mean what I think it means? Do I love Craig? No, that's impossible. I was getting ahead of myself. I shut my eyes tight, but Craig's smile kept coming to mind. Why did Craig have to do this to me? I laughed a little, and drifted to sleep.