It's really you on my mind (Creek)

28. It's Always Been You

"...It's you... Craig."

"What are you trying to say Tweek?"

"Home is a p-place you feel like you belong, it's the place you want to go to whenever life gets you down. It's you, Craig. You're my home, it's a-always been you."

Craig stares at me, not speaking a word. I think he was trying to process what was happening. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, and it was killing me not knowing.

Craig suddenly leaned in, and put his hand under my chin. I honestly couldn't tell what Craig was planning. Craig looked into my eyes as if he was searching for something.

"Tweek... you're my home, too."

I could feel his breathing, and with every breath, chills were sent down my spine. My breath hitched and I closed my eyes. I couldn't take the pressure anymore, it felt like it was building up until it started to over flow. Flooding the walls of my mind with anxiety.

No, not anxiety, it was flooding my mind with him. It was all him. Even with my eyes closed shut, I could feel his presence.

Then I felt him physically. His soft lips pressed against mine, I quickly kissed back. Eager to please him, I grabbed the collar of his shirt to bring him closer to me. In the moment everything went silent. It was just him and I. The booming of the music seemed to subside, and all the people in the room vanished. All I felt was Craig, and his soft lips against mine.

He pulled away, leaving a thin string of salvia stretching between our lips as he created distance. I felt myself whine from the sudden absence, but I quick clamped my hand over my mouth.

I saw Craig's thumb wipe away anything left on his lips, before leaning away from me. He pulled his arms down from the walls, and dropped them to his side.

"Craig! I w-wanted to tell you h-how I felt for so long, but-"

"Shhh, Tweek. Don't finish that sentence, alright? We can go back to the way things were, and pretend this didn't happen."

"W-wha-"

"I'm sorry Tweek. This can't happen, I'm sorry if I lead you on, but this isn't a thing."

A beam of light hit his face in a flash, showing me the disgust and sadness he had for what just happened. As quick as the light came, it disappeared. Craig walked off into the dancing crowd, leaving me alone to my thoughts. I could almost hear my heart snapping in the moment.

I ran from the room, leaving out the school, and heading to the back of the school. It was dark, and I slid down the wall onto the ground. I let out my sobs into my arms that were resting on my knees. This was the worse feeling. Rejection came with the feeling of a knife piercing through your heart.

There was no doubt that Craig started the kiss, and was definitely kissing back. Was that all fake? Was it to experiment in the moment? Or was it a goodbye kiss, as a way to tell me we couldn't work?

It was deadly silent outside, only the wind made a noise as it blew past me. My chest felt so tight, almost as if it could burst at any moment.

I heard crunching of leaves coming around the corner of the school. Why was he here? What did he want now?

Craig walked next to me and slid down the wall to be at my side. I didn't look his way, instead I wiped my tears and blankly stared out into the distance.

"Tweek, I told you I would be there for you no matter what it was..."

"Go away."

"Me and you both know that you don't want me to go."

I shrugged, but I couldn't say he was wrong. He sat beside me and pulled out his phone. He turned it on, and went to his text messages. I looked at the blindly bright white screen.

He opened his texts with Bebe, not saying a word. He slowly typed out into the message bar.

'You and I are over.'

I blinked at the screen, as I watched his thumb tap the send button. I looked up at him, trying to read his features while the phone screen lit up his face. Oh Craig, what were you doing?

"I'm not going to be able to hang around you for a while now. My dad doesn't approve... and I was only dating Bebe because it got my dad off my back... I don't know exactly how I feel about you though, so don't get the wrong idea."

"Don't know h-how you feel?"

"Well yeah, that kiss... was the realest thing I've felt in a while. It wasn't like kissing a girl, it was different... not bad." He took his gaze away from me, I could see a light pink tint cross over his cheeks before he shut off his phone.

We sat in silence, the darkness consuming us. I didn't know weather to be happy or scared. He said he wouldn't be able to hang around me for a while, I guess it's what he was going to have to do to get his dad to forget about the gay thing. Which was unfortunate for his dad, no distance would be able to stop Craig or me. I was suddenly determined to make Craig mine, and mine alone.

It was around 8:30 pm now, and Craig helped me up off the ground. He walked me back home, to my empty house. I smiled to him, and asked if he wanted to stay the night. He only shook his head and responded with 'not yet.'

As I went inside, I immediately squealed. What did Craig mean by 'not yet'? Why did we have to wait now? We've slept over before...

Then again, sleeping over would be different if we both liked each other. I felt my face go red as I thought about it. Craig didn't want to sleep over just yet... because... oh god! Too much pressure!

I ran up to my room after locking the door to the house. I jumped into my bed, Craig's lips flooded into my mind. I probably wouldn't get much sleep tonight if I kept thinking like this...