The Sands Of Thyme (A Tythan Flower Shop AU)

Chapter Twenty-Two: Darkness and Datura

-----------🔫Ethan🔫-----------

Can you hear me?  I'm talking to you, across the water, across the deep blue oceaaaan until the morning light.

You ever just get a song stuck in your head at the worst time?  God that song is stuck in my head. Void.  Head void thing.  Woooohooooo.

What time is it?  What day is it?  I've been looking into this black void forever it seems.

Sometimes I can hear little blips.  A little after I came into this void, I could hear sirens.  Then metal, and now all I hear is beeping.

I think I can hear someone though.  It sounds like a male voice, real deep.  I swear I recognize that voice, it makes my chest feel all fluttery and warm.  I can't really remember who he is, I just know that I kinda like him.  He's always crying, and sometimes he's whispering words to me.

"Ethan, oh god Ethan please, please wake up.  I can't.... I can't do this without you." No, no no no!  He sounds so sad!  He wants me to wake up so badly!  Am I asleep?  Well, I must be if he's telling me to wake up.  What a sweetheart.

He's crying again.  God, say your name!  I need to know your name, and then maybe i can remember you!

Come to think of it, I've been having a hard time remembering anything lately.  I don't know how I got to this void, I don't know his name, I just know that I'm Ethan.

I'm Ethan.  I work at some flower shop with people I can't remember and I know I have a boyfriend but goddammit I can't remember him.

Is this guy my boyfriend?  With how he talks, I'm thinking he might be.  I feel so awful that I'm asleep, and not with him.  Based on the beeping, and the prick in my arm, I think I'm in the hospital.

But why?  Why am I here?  Manly man keeps sputtering about a gun, maybe I got shot?  Oof, I sympathize with him.  I would not want to have someone close to me get shot.

Wait.  I am close to myself.

Oh god, oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck I got shot.  I got shot and now I'm in a coma and staring at a precipice at the edge of a void.  I got shot and my boyfriend is out there crying because who knows when I'll wake up oh god oh god oh god-

....
......

Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.

I think some time has passed.  I heard some shuffling, a bit of yelling and ouch my arm hurts.

There was some frantic beeping while the yelling was going on.  I think I had a panic attack.  Yeah, I can see how that wouldn't be good, especially considering how I am now.

I have no clue where He is.  Sometimes I can feel warmth, and I know that he's holding my hand.  But now I'm cold, oh so cold in this stupid stupid head space.

Why can't I just wake up already?  I want to be with my boyfriend, I wanna kiss him and tell him "I'm still here!  I'm still alive! Hey!  You can't give up on me yet!"

What if he is giving up on me?  Who knows how long I've been out?  Maybe it's been a few months.  What if he moved on, got someone else in his life?  Goddamn, I need a clock or something in here.

....
......

"Ethan.  It's me.  The doctor said you're getting worse.  Please, Ethan.  Pull through for me.  Here, I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm going to talk about your life, okay?

"Your name is Ethan Nestor-Darling.  You're 21 years old.  You have blue hair, hazel blue eyes, and a cute ass face.  I'm Tyler Sheid.  I'm your boyfriend.  We've been dating for a few months now.

" You work at Pottermore, a plant store owned by Mark and Kathryn, our friends.  Jack also works there, and he has a YouTube channel.  You live in an apartment, I live in a house that you seem to love spending time in.

"Just- goddamn Ethan!  I can't do this without you!  I've gotten the last two days off of work to be here with you, but it hurts, it's really hurts.  When I go back to work, I don't know how I'm going to get through a day without looking forward to hearing your voice.  How are Mark and Jack making it through the day without you at work?  They've also visited.  They'll be back later toni-"

....
......

Everything hurts, especially my chest.  I've been poked and prodded a bit, from what I can tell.  I think I got shot in the chest.  It hurts the most there, at least.

Someone else was in the room.  They were crying too.  They were familiar too, one deep one and one with an Irish accent.  I felt warm around those two as well.  I think they're my friends.

I know Tyler was talking to me a lot a while ago.  All I can remember from him speaking was his name, and that I've been here for two days.

I don't remember anything still.  Tyler is just a name.  I can't remember dates, details, nothing.  I hate it.  I hate it so much.

Now that I think about it.... It's kinda peaceful here.  Sure, when my thoughts get crowded I can see waves of navy and purple crash around me, but for the rest of the time I'm cruising in a yellow-green sea.

Yeah.  It's nice here.

Wait. No it's not.  It's bad.  I have to wake up and get home so I can kiss Tyler's face off.  I want to be warm again, like I'm warm when he holds my hand.  I want to feel that warm aaaaaaall over, like a big ol hug kinda thing.  Wow, I can't move my mouth, or anything else, but if I could I think I'd be giggling.

I hope I get better.  I want to see Tyler's face.  I want to see my friends faces.  I want to thank the doctors taking care of me.

I'm hopeful.

I think.

....
......

Tyler.

Tyler Tyler.

TYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLERTYLER

We met at my cousins wedding and met again at Pottermore where I work with Mark, Jack, and Kathryn.  Amy is Marks girlfriend.  I live in an apartment and I love staying at Tyler's house.  He's a wedding planner.

God I can remember.  I can remember every stupid stupid detail.  How I jumped in front of a bullet for him, literally.

I wanna go back. Take me back.  TAKE ME BACK YOU FUCKING COWARD TAKE ME BACK I WANT TO BE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

I wanna.... I....i wanna.... I can't....

Please.

....
......

I am damaged.

Far too damaged.

But maybe I can become whole again.

Please let me be whole again.

....
......

I am empty.

I breathe out.

I breathe in.

Drawing all the air towards my nose.

Smelling the antiseptic.

Smelling his cologne.

Smelling his chocolate hazelnut mint.

Smelling iron and fabric and metal and dust.

Savoring.

Saving.

Smiling.

I breathe out.

I breathe in.

And I am whole again.