unwanted

chapter one

                                                                                        unanswered

Dawn was still hours away but that didn't stop her from climbing out of her sleeping bag and reaching for her shoes.

Four hours of sleep was more than she usually got these days.

Their accommodations left much to be desire. A small shed. Ran down. Lawn mower taking up most the space.

No one mowed grass anymore. There was no one left to mow grass. Others were few and far between, and the ones you did meet up with, wasn't worried about yard work.

The place they've been staying the last two days was abandoned. The house burnt down and anything worth stealing had already been taken.

It's been over a week since Julian and she have seen another living soul, and that group wasn't one you wanted to be seen by.

Luckily, they hadn't been. There were six of them and all of them giant asshole thugs who considered this area theirs.

They could have it. Once Jess found who she was looking for.

Careful to not wake Julian, she eased the door opened and slipped out. She'd never been one to be afraid of the dark. She was smart enough to know that whatever could get you at night, could get you just as easily in the daylight.

She went to the old truck parked next to the shed. They had known it wouldn't have any gas, but they checked it anyway. The lawn mower too.

Gas was like gold these days.

No gas. Damn truck didn't even have a motor.

Jess climbed up onto the hood then up onto the roof of the shed.

Stars were still out but they didn't hold her interest any longer. She could feel him. Feel the miles between them. Her eyes were always drawn that way.

She ignored the pain in her chest. It was always there.

Once she had thought that she couldn't hurt more than she already did. So wrong. True pain was knowing he could come for her and he chose not to.

He hadn't come for her and he wasn't going to.

And fool that she was, thought he would. Thought he'd be here the second he was able to.

So wrong.

He hadn't come. Nor had he come in the sixty days since.

Guess he had decided that living with the pain was better than having to put up with her.

Because he did hurt. Not as much as he once did, not as often as he once had but some nights, she'd wake up gasping in pain and she knew it was his pain. Nights were the worse. That's why she'd learned to only sleep when she had to.

Handling her own pain was hard enough. She couldn't handle his as well.

Never could.

In the beginning, things had gotten so bad that Julian had to start getting drastic in his attempts to lessen her suffering.

His love knew no bounds. There had been a couple of times when he'd literally had to hold her and beg her to return to him. As hard as all of this has been on her it has also cost Julian dearly. Seeing her that way day after day. Always being the one who had to hold on to her. Then one day, it had gotten easier. In some ways. Worse in others.