unwanted

chapter four

unlucky

She moved slowly, still hurting too much for any sudden movements. Her head was groggy, and she could barely grasp onto one single thought. Mom? When that thought cause her pain she wondered why and tried to hold on to another one. "Kellum?"

Jess reached for him, but he seemed to be just out of reach, and she was too tired to try again.

"We're okay. We haven't gotten very far but I've doubled back several times and I don't think they're following us. Rest, Jess."

"He was.... here."

"No, baby. Just me. Rest."

"Wish I was home. Wish I... I still had one."

The next time she woke she was back in control of her body and mind. The sun shined down on her. Looking around she tried to figure out where she was. The creek. The one her and Kellum had spent the day at all that time ago. A different person ago.

Julian waved and smiled her way. "Come in. It feels great."

A bath! She peeled off her clothes quickly. "How long was I out of it?"

"Not bad this time. About ten hours. You needed it."

"Ten? Then how did we get here?"

His smile dimmed. "You, babe. I guess you really did want clean clothes."

If she jumped them on top of already being hurt and exhausted, it was a wonder she hadn't waken next week.

Jess didn't jump in. She wanted to savor the feel of the cool, clean water.

"You should have stripped everything. I did."

"Then you make sure and stay on your side. I can't even remember my last bath."

By the time she left the creek she felt like she'd lost three pounds of dirt and grime.

Julian already had the laundry done and it was hanging off branches. All that was left for her to do is to lay out and sun dry as well.

Julian had been laying next to her a good long while before she got brave enough to question the worry in his eyes. "You're mad at me?"

She had checked him out earlier and other than a handful of bruises, a cut and some swelling on his left cheek bone, and a fat lip, he seemed to fair pretty good.

He gave the hand he was holding a squeeze then turn his head to look at her. "I'm scared, Jess."

"They don't know to come here looking for us. Even if they look for us they won't come this far. We'll just stay the hell out of dodge till______."

"It's not that. You were out of it, Jess. First, in so much pain you couldn't even bare me to touch you, then so weak you couldn't even open your eyes."

With anybody else, she would be worried that she'd become too much of a pain but with Julian she knew better. "It's happened before. If I______."

He scooted over until their foreheads were touching. "Jess, you moved us. You didn't even know what you were doing. One moment you were mumbling then the next, we were here. What if you hadn't been in my arms? What if we had gotten separated? You would have woken up here, no idea where I was, and I wouldn't have any idea where you were. I don't know what I would have done. I can't lose you, babe."

Just the thought of waking and not being able to find him, filled her with fear. No, that was too mild a word.

"My whole life I've done everything for you. I've gone against my good judgment more times than I can count. When you jumped, I jumped. Usually blind, and I always will, but this once I'm asking you to follow me. For once I'm asking you to do what I think is best. We're going home, Jess. We aren't going to look for Sin and the girls. I'll give you a day to rest then we are going back. You did what you set out to do. They must help us now. We'll go home, and we'll let them find Sin and the girls. If we must, once you're stronger then we'll start looking again but____."

If only they could. She would do anything to be able to see Mel. Aunt Sarah.

Kellum. One hour a day was looking pretty damn good right now. To feel human again. For that she could pretend he didn't break her heart. For that she could pretend everything she felt for him was in the past.

But they couldn't. "They said I could never come back." She barely managed the whispered words.

"I know, but they gave you a different option. We're taking it, Jess. There's no reason not to anymore."

"You want to pretend we're dating?"

"No." He replied softly. "No pretending. We always knew it was you and me, Jess. We knew that. No more waiting. No more looking for that little something that is missing. What we have is even better than that."

"Julian, I can't____."

"We can. I know your heart is hurting right now. I know you still have feelings for him, but I also know how much you love me. Do you want to lose me, baby?"

"No. Never."

"Do you want to go home to Mel and Sarah?"

She nodded sadly.

"Could you be happy with me?"

Another nod.

"If we stay here it's going to happen anyway. We know that, so don't make me have to see you hurting every day for the rest of my life."

"He'll be there."

"Yes. And you'll have to be around him to feel better. It's a small price to pay."

"For you or me?" Tired eyes closed. They were going back. If she was even half the person she was before, she would have thought of it herself. All her reasons for not wanting to use Julian against Kell were nonexistent now. "What if I'm not strong enough against him? When I'm around him_____."

"You will be. You would never do anything to hurt me. To hurt us."

"Would that hurt you?"

"Yes. It would."

Those words scared her. Not because of Kellum. Kell made his choice. She didn't know his reasoning, but she still believed him to be a good person. He had his reasons. He decided being king was more important. Maybe he found his true mate. The only thing clear is that he didn't choose her.

Julian's words scared her because they have had every kind of relationship imaginable. A time or two, they'd gone through stages where they hadn't wanted to share each other. They've been possessive. Sure, but nothing like she'd just heard in his words.

She knew a new chapter had just been added to their story and it was one she wasn't writing herself.

New ground. A new relationship.

"What if we go all that way and they are leaving soon?"

"They can fix you or they can take us with them. They'll have to."

She wasn't so sure.

Jess opened her eyes and stared into his dark chocolate ones. "You're right. I've always taken the lead. Good or bad. I'm not as strong as I once thought I was. If you think this is what we should do, then we'll do it."