unwanted

chapter ten

unvoiced

Come to find out, Grammy was a push over. All bark and no bite. Though she was fond of her wooden spoon and seemed to carry it around all the time.

Jess didn't get around to meeting Annie until the next day. The girl was odd. She didn't know any other way to put it.

She had frizzy blond hair and large blue eyes that were always looking off. Any time she sat down her legs would jiggle until she was back on her feet again. Bare feet. As far as Jess could tell, the other girl never wore shoes.

She was also quite content and completely at peace with life as long as she didn't have to sit through it.

A smile was always on her face.

At first someone might think she was slow but after spending any amount of time with her, it was easy to see that was far from true. She was just different.

Over the next few days, Jess began to enjoy spending more and more time with the other girl. Especially if that meant not having to spend any time with Jessica.

That girl never shut up. Never. When she wasn't wanting to know every little thing about St Louis or the aliens then she was telling Jess about every second of her whole life. The only time the girl ever shut up was when Adrian was around.

Then she shut up alright, who could talk with drool pouring from your mouth? She had it bad. Which wasn't good because if Adrian thought of Jess as a child then Jessica had no luck. She was a year younger.

Adrian was kind and gentle to everyone. He made time for everyone and even made sure to play with the younger children every chance he got.

It was hard to believe he was only twenty-two. He seemed much older and wiser. In a lot of ways, he reminded her of Jetidi. Quiet and watchful. He always knew the right thing to say and do. Except Jetidi had been too quiet and watchful and a tad freaky.

She never felt anything about Adrian except for belonging. Even when she woke in the middle of the night to find him sitting beside her, she was never scared. He always seemed to know when she needed him.

She wasn't the only one he was like that with. He was the same way with Paula. She was at least ten years his senior, but you would never know it to see the two of them together. He took care of her too.

During the sickness she'd lost her husband and a child. It was too much for her and her mind didn't seem able to cope with her grief. She ate because Adrian gave it to her. She only spoke when Adrian made it a point to get her to.

After spending as little time as possible with the group, she disappeared back into the barn.

Jessica said she had a cot in there and that she liked the alone time.

She actually said a lot more than that but around then is when Jess started to ignore her.

Jess could understand Paula's need to be alone. There were several times a day when Jess had to do the same. Get away from all the talking and the laughing. Get away from the everyday life of it all.

Fritz was not her sister. These people weren't her family.

Don't get her wrong, most of the time she soaked up the company and the normalness. She definitely appreciated food actually cooked and having some type of schedule. It was just that she never forgot that this wasn't where she belonged.

She didn't forget everything that was missing. Everyone that was missing.

Adrian made it a little easier but that didn't mean that there wasn't a giant hole where her heart should be.

Sometimes she'd laugh at something Julian did or said and then she'd feel bad that for a moment she forgot that she's supposed to feel bad.

As sad as it sounded, she kind of missed the constant pain. That pain was her last link to Kellum.

Just thinking his name, she braced herself for the sadness to drown her. She couldn't bear to think about him, she couldn't bear to not think about him.

Would there ever come a time when she wouldn't be able to feel him? When she wouldn't close her eyes and see him?

She couldn't even dream without him there. Last night he'd been in the dark, lost and confused. Reaching for her.

She woke up screaming. Adrian already trying to calm her with his voice, Julian already reaching for her.

The night before Kellum hadn't been lost at all. He'd been in a meeting, his life normal and peaceful. He smiled and reached for her.

She woke up screaming.

He was always reaching for her. Which really sucked since in reality that was as far from the truth as it could get.

Seeing Annie leaning over her, Jess sat up.

They'd come out here together. Both of them laying on the pier and looking up at the sky. About ten minutes into it, Annie had run off to do her own thing.

That was okay. She could run all over the woods if that's what she wanted to do but Jess would take laying down doing nothing over that any day.

"For you."

Jess took the flower wreath with a sad smile and put it on top of her head.

"Perfect. Want to go see my hill today?"

Not even a little. Yesterday she'd done that. Thinking the other girl had this really cool spot to show her.

It was at least three miles through the woods, and it was just a hill. Not one damn thing special about it. "Not today. You can if you want to."

"Okay. Will you take Grammy the berries I picked? Tell her I'll make a cobbler when I get back and tell Fritz I made her a surprise, but she'll have to find it."

"Okay."

"Don't be sad Jess. He's coming."

Her face fell, and she felt like the whole world crumbled beneath her. "What?"

The other girl was already skipping away.

Jess got up to chase after her, but Julian just walked into sight and waved.

She meant Julian. Of course, she did.

Kellum wasn't coming and he wasn't trying to reach for her.