The Truth About Love (Stan x Kyle)

Disastrous Dance

Damnit. I thought for sure by now I would have been able to take those pussy elves down. Fucking Kyle, he thinks he's so smart. Thinks he's so much better than everyone else. I'm going to take him down. At least as King I don't have to go to those fucking meetings with him. God, that last one was the absolute worst.

~Flashback~

"Hello Cartman." Greeted the Jew in a tone which matched my mood. If it isn't clear, that tone is fucking pissed. I'd literally rather drink bleach than talk to him.

"Jew," I replied, curtly. Kyle audibly sighed.

"So, how's Kenny?" asked Kyle after a while. I glared. He shouldn't address her as Kenny she's Princess Kenny! Only I can address her as Kenny. She belongs to me!

"She's doing fine." I said in what was clearly a warning tone. Kyle obviously didn't get the message.

"Well, at least when she's here she makes interesting conversation." God, does he ever get tired of all the sand up his vagina?

"Excuse me? My conversation is way more interesting than anything Kinny would come up with! She's poor!" I shouted at him.

"Talking to a rock would be more interesting than talking to you!" Kyle yelled back. God, I hate him so much.

"Screw you Kahl! Everyone at home loves to talk to me! They all think I'm really kewl. You're just a stupid elf, so you wouldn't understand!"

"They're pretending fat boy! That's just because you're the heir to the throne. If you ask me the worst heir possible." Said Kyle, arms crossed.

"No, it's not! And screw you Kahl! I'll make a much better King than you!"

"Oh please, no one's even going to let your fatass onto a throne. You probably wouldn't even fit on one!"

"Yes, they are Kahl! I'll be on a throne real soon! Before you too!" He rolled his eyes at me.

"Oh please." He said, staring at me like I was stupid.

"Yeah, that's right! Try and deny it! I'll be on the throne and I'll have all the elves and people who associate with them dead! Then, I'll over take you and your puny country and have you as my personal slave!"

"I'd like to see you try." He replied, cool as a fucking cucumber.

"Oh, you would huh? Fine. I WILL!" I said, screeching the last part.

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine." With that last 'fine' from Kyle I stormed out of the room; muttering the final fine before Kyle could send one back.

~End Flashback~

God, I hate him so much. I'm going to destroy him and his entire fucking country. I just need more soldiers and the perfect plan, the opportunity will arise, and when it does I'll strike without mercy.

Xxx

By the time Stan and I were ten we were inseparable. We have dubbed ourselves 'super best friends' after a run in with the heads of all religions on earth. Long story. We were barely apart except from when Stan was at school. We ate together, played together, sometimes slept together as when we were having a 'sleepover' we couldn't be bothered to create beds on the floor when we both had double beds. Other times Stan would sometimes have nightmares, or just flashbacks, which would send him into a state of depression or fright. During these times he would hardly leave my side. Sometimes, missing school and he would always at one time or another during the night come into my room. Usually, he handles it with alcohol, which worries me, but I guess whatever works for him. He's kind of a cynical asshole without it anyway.

Wendy's birthday was coming up and Stan had a request. They had just gotten back together and Wendy really wanted to visit the palace. She's obsessed with its architecture apparently. Anyway, I'd persuaded Mom to let all the kids my age in my kingdom, and the kingdom in the South, come for a ball. I think Mom saw it as some opportunity for me to find a future wife or something. Kenny and surprisingly Cartman, for all he hated elves, had accepted the invitation as well as the other ten-year-olds from the South. It was going to be crazy. I was going to have to pretend I didn't know Stan or he and my parents were going to rip my head off and also pretend that I hadn't spoken to Kenny lately. Great. I was currently in the meeting room with Kenny.

"This is going to be a disaster." I said, banging my head against the meeting room table. I was due to walk into the hall with Kenny on my arm any minute. Cartman and Stan were probably going to try to kill me because of that. To top it all off I'm also a terrible dancer. "Why did I agree to this?"

"It's going to be fine!" Kenny giggled. "You're doing this to keep your man happy remember?"

"No, I'm doing it because I'm a bro, it's the bro code, Kenny. You know Kenny such things exist as two guys getting on really well without their being any sexual interest." I said, pretty sick of Kenny's delusion that I'm gay.

"Whatever you say Kyle! Okay, this is the plan, I've got a knife and I'm going to stab Wendy with it while simultaneously shoving you into Stan and then you two are going to dance, fall in love, run away, live in a mansion in the woods and have six children each of which you name Kenny." Stated Kenny with a slightly psychotic look in her eyes. I grabbed the knife off Kenny and shoved it into my robes just before Mom opened the door.

"Okay, bubby it's time to go! All the girls are waiting for you my handsome little boy." Kill me now. Stan is so giving me his dessert for a month. I grabbed Kenny's hand, walked out in to the hallway and toward the ballroom. Guards opened the large, double mahogany doors. I walked down the stairs. My left arm linked with Kenny's right. All eyes were on us. Cartman's eyes were trying to kill me and Stan's eyes were alternating between trying to kill Kenny and trying to kill Cartman. He also gave me an occasional 'what the fuck you traitor! How could you invite Cartman! And why are you walking down the fucking stairs with Princess fucking Kenny!' glare. I couldn't communicate back with my eyes that it wasn't my idea it was Mom's and it's impossible to stop that lady. This evening is going to be a complete disaster.

Xxx

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed. Comments and votes appreciated. What do you guys think will happen during the dance? Also, do you ever find yourself shipping Kyman? Even slightly? Anyways, have an awesome day!